𝐃𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐮𝐩?, Oscar Diaz

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The boys left around 2 hours ago now but i still cant fall back to sleep. The frigid electric hum of my fan topped with the ever so subtle sounds of cars occasionally passing by, was now apparently the bane of my very existence. I tried turning the fan off but my head somehow created its own buzzing sound in its absence. Sweat was practically my second skin at this point i cant tell  if its from the literal heat or just a result of my late night anxiety. Iv always been an emotional person, no matter how much i try to repress it and late night anxiety/feels was definitely a regular occurrence for me. The reality of my situation is finally hitting me.

I'm a seventeen year old single mother living out on my own with no job to speak of. My biggest concern is that I'm not Kamari's legal guardian yet so its really easy for him to be snatched away from me. CPS is a force not to be fucked with and if anything at all alerts them to the fact he's under my sole care id be so screwed. My whole purpose would be taken away from me and taken where? to his dead beat ass dad or a mother fucking foster home. Lamar's messed up "expectation" of me could lead to the kind of situation putting me and Kamari at risk though it would help our situation financially. 

no screw that why the hell are you actually considering it

I wish Tia Genny could file for custody but iv done the research, on paper Lamar's clean there's no reason we could claim emergency custody, he's legally a suitable guardian and there's no way he would willingly share custody of Kamari. My "mothers" pride would never make her agree which is pretty ironic considering other things she does. Its whatever its not like we even know where she is, to be honest with her we cant even be sure she knows where she is. stop. I need to stop thinking about her what's done is done and i don't want to stress myself thinking about it.

 I was snatched out of my spiralling thoughts by a gentle knock on the door. I reach out to my  phone just for my hand to meet the coolness of my sheets. where's my phone. Frantically looking around the mess of my bedsheets for it as the gentle knocks where followed up by more hostile ones. I spot my phone under my pillow as it lights up with a text from a  number I don't recognise. 

open the door now .

Concern bubbling under my skin, i practically sprint through my dark house illuminated by the soft glow of my phone. Looking through the peephole my eyes land on an oh so familiar face tattoo. Its Lamar.

My breathe finally steadied as i opened the latches on my door to let the man in. The icy air wrapped around my skin replacing the pulsing heat while Lamar let himself in. Neither of us said a word just silently staring at each over with mutual understanding. I glance over to Kamari's room guiding him to see his son. I know he's a gangbanging dickhead who prioritises money over family but i don't know sometimes it seems like he really does care about his son... and about me. 

He wouldn't have given me the "opportunity" as he describes it if he didn't i guess. It was a chance for me to get a hold of my life and provide for Kamari. I watch him while he looks at his sleeping son in awe, a wide smile on his face as he brushes his hair out of his face. I couldn't help but smile down at the pair from my position in the door frame. "Soo howv you been doing kid," he glances back at me trying to make light conversation. "I mean you know just keeping it together," i chuckled looking down at my feet. 

"I hear that, I hear that," he replied nodding the atmosphere was no longer tense but that doesn't take away from how generally menacing he is. "You think about the offer i made you yet," he now stood up to talk to me. I followed him as he walked back to the living room, okay it suddenly felt hot again, the hair on the back of my neck irritating me. "Uh.." i scratch the back of my head "I still dont think its a good idea," i admitted refusing to meet his eyes  "Its not me."

"hmm" he hummed in response inching towards me. "i get your worried but you care about Kamari? Youll consider it cause you need money like that and its a good opportunity," he carried on so i look up at him. Meeting a compassionate looking Lamar all the thoughts and doubts in my head swirled around making me utterly confused that he actually seemed to care. "Your his sister, so your family we've got you," i had to hold back a grimace, i know exactly what kind of people he meant be "we".  All i could manage was a nod in response and mutter a small "Thank you."  

He chuckled, huh why is he laughing "Don't act so timid, your moms told me all about how tough you actually are plus seeing you go through what your going through there's no doubt in my mind that your a soldier," he said, starting to walk towards the door. I couldn't help but let out a laugh, fair enough. "I doubt tough was the word she used probably hard headed or something but i appreciate it still," i replied making both of us let out giggles.

 "Ill be here around 3 tomorrow," he stated and i nodded. He opened the door for himself about to let himself out but he stops before he steps out "Just think about it yeah?" he said looking at me with his brow raised. "yeah" i responded. 

Then he added before leaving  "The prophets got you don't worry about shit."

A/N: Hiii what do u guys think the "opportunity" is ? Also would u guys like longer chapters or are you guys fine with these short ones.  Lmk your thoughts and uhmm drink your water