The Salvation Hunt

IXX. Autotheism

Volta was not holding up well. Neither was Nova, obviously, but he specifically sensed that he was no longer himself. His very personhood was slipping away from him.

Memories of his mannerisms, his thought process, his own voice, the way he talked. All of them had gone.

Not that he knew what that would mean, anyway. Not knowing what he didn't even know. It was terrible, not even knowing the gravity of what he'd lost. He hated it.

Nova only looked at him in concern. She hovered around the black masses and speculated on what they could be, with limited success.

"Okay, there are four things," he could hear her say under her breath. "What are things that come in fours? People? Animals?" Then, softer, "These would have to be some big animals..."

She turned to him. "What do you think?"

He blinked at her. "I don't know."

Why would she think he would? He crossed his arms and tucked his chin down to his chest while trying to suppress the growing panic in him.

"I'm not the smart one."

He was just some guy.

A bewildered burst–almost a bark–of laughter slipped Nova's mouth. "What?"

"What what?"

She stared at him. "What do you mean when you say that you are not the smart one?" She looked at him like he was a completely different person. "You have always been the smart one." She thought about it, then amended, "You and your brother. Wyatt has been smart in... more dynamic ways–"

–like finding new and genuinely impressive ways to blow things up or brute force his way through problems–

"–and you are the one he always turns to for help. You are the calm one. The smart one. Anything. Everything." She shook her head. "I don't understand. Now is hardly a good time for your jokes, Mr Joule."

He froze. A thought occurred to him as she remained suspiciously calm in her concern.

He turned the question back to her. "What do you know about yourself, Miss Leon?"

"My last name is Leon?"

Oh, things were bad bad for her.

"What do you know about yourself, then?" he asked. He tried to be gentle, patient, maybe, but he couldn't remember if that was a grace he bothered handing to people or not. "Tell me about yourself."

Nova opened her mouth, inhaled, then closed it again. She shrugged slowly. "I don't know."

"Yasha, Champion Duelist, Executioner, Judgement, President of the Dragon Lover's Association? No?"

"I know that last one!" she snapped her fingers and pointed at him excitedly. "I do not really... I don't know what you mean by the others.."

"Just President of the DLA?"

"I think so."

"Really?" Volta prodded. "No representing the Law, not upholding justice, nothing? Courage is your biggest virtue, second only to kindness or whatever?"

Nova shrugged. "A daunting legacy to live up to," she smiled nervously. "Is that what you see in me?"

Maybe he was onto something. He took a step closer to Nova, who did the same to him. He pointed quickly at her and said, "What do you know about me?"

She looked around them, gesturing to the mind prison they'd shared for the past however-long. "A lot."

"And I know you," he said to her. "I know you."