Our Other mate

Chapter 10

Merrick's POV

My Lycan, restless and tormented, prowled just beyond the door, his desperate howls a haunting symphony of longing. He yearned to be near his mates, to wrap them in his powerful embrace and shield them from the agonizing emotions that rippled through our bond. I could feel their distress as if it were my own—Ella's heartache, a deep, sorrowful ache caused by my absence, and Phillip's anxiety, a gnawing fear of rejection that hung heavy in the air. The urge to burst through the door and hold them close was overwhelming, yet I was paralyzed by my own fears, my insecurities wrapping around me like a suffocating shroud. 

My mind was a battlefield, each thought a weapon in a relentless war of self-doubt and hesitation.For hours, I paced beneath the cold, watchful gaze of the moon, the night air thick with the weight of my turmoil. My Lycan's howls echoed in my mind, a constant reminder of the pain I was causing by keeping my distance. His need to comfort them mirrored my own, but I was trapped in a cycle of fear—fear of the emotions that clawed at my heart, fear of the unknown, and fear of the judgment that awaited me if I dared to give in to my desires.As the first light of dawn crept over the horizon, painting the sky in soft hues of pink and gold, I finally surrendered to exhaustion. 

With a heavy heart, I shifted back into human form, the transformation leaving me drained, both physically and emotionally. At some point, I must have collapsed, for I awoke to the gentle touch of a maid, her hands careful as she draped a thin sheet over my bare shoulders. The sun had not yet climbed over the westside wall, and the garden around me was bathed in a soft, dim light. For a brief moment, I allowed myself to take in the serene beauty of the flowers and foliage, their colors muted yet comforting in the early morning stillness.My thoughts drifted to Alliyah and the words of the goddess, who had promised me a second chance at love. But here I was, standing on the edge of that promise, teetering on the brink of throwing it all away because of the terror that clawed at my soul. I wrapped the sheet tightly around my naked body, a flimsy shield against the storm of emotions raging within me, and made my way to Alliyah's grave. Kneeling beside the weathered stone, I carefully removed the wilted flowers, their once-vibrant petals now faded and brittle, and swept away the dust that had gathered on the plaque."Thank you for loving me, my dear," I whispered, my voice trembling with the weight of unspoken emotions. "Truly, I never thought I could feel for anyone the way I felt for you. But these feelings... they terrify me. The goddess says you gave them to me so I wouldn't be alone, but I'm so scared of what my aunt and uncle will think." Tears blurred my vision as I spoke, my heart a tumultuous sea of gratitude and fear. 

Alliyah had always told me to live freely, to embrace love with open arms and to give it generously. Perhaps it was time to heed her advice, to let go of the fear that held me captive and embrace the love that had been offered to me so unconditionally.With a heart heavy yet determined, I stood and dusted myself off, resolute in my decision to find Phillip and Ella. As I entered the kitchen, the scent of freshly cooked food greeted me, and I saw Miriam bustling about, her movements quick and efficient. "Is that for the Duchess and Phillip?" I asked, my voice still tinged with the emotional upheaval of the morning.Miriam nodded, her eyes wide with the lingering fear from the chaos of the previous night. "I'm sorry about last night, Miriam. I had a lot going on," I said, my tone sincere as I sought to explain my absence. "Where are Ella and Phillip? I'll take this to them."She hesitated for a moment, her gaze searching mine, as if trying to understand the complexity of my situation, before finally handing me the plates. 

"They're in Ella's room," she replied, a hint of skepticism in her voice. "Your grace, if you need anything, I am always here to help," she added, offering a warm smile before hurrying off to attend to her other duties.I took a deep breath, steeling myself for the encounter ahead. Miriam had known me since I was a child, and her intuition told her that something was amiss. But how could I explain the truth? How could I tell anyone that I had two mates, one of whom was a man? The thought alone sent a shiver of fear down my spine, the weight of societal expectations pressing down on me like a vise.As I ascended the stairs, my mind raced with anxious thoughts, each one more unsettling than the last. I tried to calm my nerves, reminding myself that facing this sober was crucial. Reaching the door to Ella's room, I took a deep breath and knocked, the sound echoing in the quiet hallway. To my surprise, it was Ella who answered, her eyes widening in shock as she saw me standing there with a tray of food and a tentative smile."I thought you both might be hungry," I said, forcing a smile that didn't quite reach my eyes. "We should really talk about... everything."Ella's eyes softened, and she stepped aside, opening the door wider to let me in. Phillip immediately sprang out of bed, his face lighting up with a smile that spread from ear to ear. "Merrick, I'm so glad you came back! Ella and I were so worried about you!" He rushed to my side, taking the plates from my hands and setting them on the table with a care that belied his own lingering discomfort.For a moment, the three of us stood there in awkward silence, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavily in the air. The tension was palpable, a thick fog that pressed down on us, making it difficult to breathe.