The sparkle in his eyes

chapter 11

Atsushi pov

Maybe this wasn't the best idea after all. Next time, maybe I should let Kyouka know in advance that we will have Akutagawa staying for the night. 

The atmosphere at the breakfast table is tense as she continues to pierce me with her angry eyes. Meanwhile, Akutagawa doesn't seem to mind as he just continues to eat silently. How can he stay so unbothered sometimes?

After a while, he stands up, putting his empty plate into the kitchen sink.

"I'll be on my way now. Thank you for... everything."

Maybe it's just my imagination playing tricks on me again, but I think he's smiling. At least something positive about this day.

It's not that kind of a "ear to ear" smile but still, the slight curve of his lips is clearly visible. I always wondered how his genuine smile looks like. 

If it's this pretty, how beautiful his laugh must be.

"No problem. You can come for a cup of tea anytime you want. I'll make sure to buy you some fig one as well." 

With that, his smile widens just a tiny bit as he walks out.

As I clean up after breakfast, I notice that Kyouka sits still at her place, almost not touching her food, which is odd, looking at her morning appetite during any other morning.

"Is everything okay? You seem quite off lately." I ask, already knowing what the problem probably is.

She doesn't bother to look up at me and continues to blankly stare at her toast. I give her a moment to formulate her question but as I wait, the nervousness starts to gather up in my body.

"Are you two together?"

The feeling that spreads through my veins is way worse than last time when she asked if I have someone. I never thought that she might think such thing about me and Akutagawa.  

"Why would you think that?"

She stands up from her unfinished plate.

"He was wearing your scarf yesterday."

"Ha! So you wasn't sleeping. I knew that I saw the lights on."

"That is not the point here, Atsushi. I saw the way you look at him and the way he looks at you, the way you talk to each other and how he smiles around you. And trust me, he never smiles."

"We are just friends."

"But he slept in your room last night."

I let out a sigh. 

I might try to defend myself but it would all be useless. She has an argument to everything I say. But I have to admit, she has some good observing skills.

"I won't try to get in your way, just be careful. I'm sure you remember your first meeting." 

She finally looks at me, quietly walking away, not once looking directly in my eyes.

I have to hold on to the table as another way of that unbelievably uncomfortable feeling spreads across my body. 

I walk to the window because I need some fresh air as my head spins.

Instead, I catch the last glimpse of  Akutagawa at the end of the street. My legs start shaking as he turns behind a corner, looking my direction as he does.

It can't be... Is it possible for me to like... Men? For me to like Akutagawa? Its true that for some reason, there is some kind of bond between us that I can't explain. But does he feel the same way? It just all felt right yesterday evening and there was a noticeable change in his behaviour. Could he also be into men?

Then, I realize what I'm thinking. A wave of embarrassment alongside with cold sweat linger on my body. My face is probably even redder than a tomato, which brings back the memory of Akutagawa blushing back then when I had to feed him.  

I grip my hair tightly, trying to regain my composure.

"Please, don't let this be true."

I softly whisper my plea, even if somewhere deep inside me I already know that it is true.

Akutagawa pov

That wasn't that bad, besides that kid staring at me. Atsushi is quite a good cook even if he doesn't seem like it. I have to ask for some recipes from him.

I chuckle to myself as I realize that he's quite a marriage material and would make quite a good house wife.  

Once the fact hits me, I almost fall to my knees.

The feeling that I suddenly felt before, could it be... love? Maybe it's just some form of attraction, but it's scary both ways.

But the more I think about it, the more it matches the description people usually use to describe love. The butterflies in my stomach suddenly make sense.

Panic takes over my whole body.

 I can try and deny it all along, but what if it will not stop or even get worse?    

But can it get any worse than it already is?

A/N

Hii! In case nobody told you today, I'm proud of you for whatever you're doing and whoever you are!