No one wants to come across as being a "pick me" person. You know – the person who always seems to be begging for attention from everyone. It's easy to become a "pick me" person when we ignore our own hearts. When our heart doesn't get attention it immediately starts seeking love elsewhere. And honestly, who can blame it? It's probably spent years waiting for its owner, it's original home to show some level of care for its existence. It's been patiently waiting for you to say "thank god I have this one precious heart, look how amazing it loves." But that moment might never come so your heart learns how to look elsewhere.
It jumps to anyone that shows it an ounce of care and says "pick me, choose me, love me" ala Meredith Grey. Once the heart is in its "pick me" era, it's going to feel cumbersome and uncomfortable to reacquaint yourself with it. You may end up spending years looking outward at others asking them to love you or care for you and be consistently disappointed when you receive little to nothing in return. If you're one of the lucky ones, perhaps someone takes care of your heart for a time but time and again, it will be given back to you – not because you are unlovable but because your heart needs a specific type of love, love from you.
In order to prevent your heart from settling into "pick me" energy or in order to get your heart back from someone else, you must first show it some semblance of love. You don't need to go all out with the "you're the best thing that's ever happened to me" although ideally you will eventually get to that place.
Instead, try for a gratitude practice when your heart does something kind or caring. You could say "I'm so grateful I love so deeply" the next time you feel abandoned by someone. You could try, "I'm grateful that my heart knows what type of love I deserve, even if I sometimes forget it." You could go so far as to say thank you to your heart for continuing to show up daily even when you ignore it or try to give it away.
Whatever you decide, begin by making your heart feel welcomed in its home. Reacquaint yourself with what it means to show tenderness and gratitude for its presence and watch how when you attune to your heart, you attune to your deepest form of self.
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A Beginner's Guide to Self-Awareness
Non-FictionIf you're wondering how to get in touch with your inner self, this book is rooted in psychology and mindfulness. It's full of short chapters designed to help you approach your inner self from a place of calmness and curiosity.
