Chapter 7: Quoth The Raven

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My body was blanketed by the velvet softness of her skin, and wrapped against it by her overpriced green bedspread. For a moment, I felt panic rise up in my chest, while I fought back the fight or flight of having a stranger next to me when I first woke up. But as soon as it came, it left me. I was no longer sleeping alone in that slum of an apartment, no longer only looking forward to nothing more than my first cup of coffee and my first fight...I was cradled in the paradise of Laura's arms.

Trapped was a better word, she was a great cuddler, but a better grappler, and I knew by now the only way I was getting out of her grasp was if she let me. However, Matsuda prison was the perfect place for an illegal pit fighter like me to serve my sentence...and I happily paid my debt to society in its grasp.

"Good morning, Cocada~!" her voice beamed, filling up our room with its morning light. I stirred, not ready for the sensory assault, and pulled back away from her trying to stretch my aching muscles. Her grip loosened, letting my pull myself out of the cocoon of blankets she had wrapped us into...cold air rushing across my nude skin as I finally grasped onto freedom for the first time in what had to have been close to twelve hours.

She had been using my bottomless sleeping body as a teddy bear all night, which though I didn't mind, only made the harsh reality of needing to leave the bed into the rest of the world to perpetuate my existence only that much more like a frigid hellscape compared to the sauna of her abs.

"Best sleep you've had in your entire life, huh?" She giggled with a hearty yawn, while I clambered to get my underwear on. "I know it was some of the best I've ever had!" She sat up, hair frizzled in impossible ways...sticking out like she was struck by lightning in her sleep. She ran her hair through it, feeling just how bad it was while I did my best getting dressed.

"Yeah...I haven't slept like that since grade school," I rolled the soreness out of my shoulders, chains clambering behind my wrists as I did, while I awkwardly tried to make conversation with the amazon who had conquered me.

"Really...? I'm not putting all of this work into training you for women just for you to undo all my hard work with Fight Club quotes!" She slammed her hands onto the bed, "So cut it out!"

"No offense...I don't think being patient, understanding, thoughtful, strong, attractive, and just generally literally perfect is going to prepare me for general dating...if anything it's only going to make the average person even worse to me by comparison," I rub the back of my neck...and then pause, looking at my palm after realizing the weird tick I had developed.

Laura grit her teeth, trying her absolute hardest to be offended by me critiquing her training regime with a string of compliments, "Of course I would train you for that, because those are the only types of people you should even consider dating after my perfect Matsuda training regime!"

"Well I'd be lucky to meet a girl with just the first two, let alone all of them. So your training seems kinda useless."

Laura grumbled, crossing her arms and looking away in defeat as she accepted my compliments, "...Or a man..."

"See? Couldn't even get a guy with all of those things..."

"I can..." She smirked, sticking her tongue out at me.

I blinked, feeling my heart skip a beat and a familiar dryness start to build up in my mouth. "...It's me isn't it?"

"Yup~!"

And so the universe, sensing happiness, had summoned forth an agent of entropy and chaos to shatter any and all hope of me finally having anything nice for even a fleeting moment when Sean Matsuda had decided to use Laura's door as a punching bag. "Laura! Laura, there's a freaking ninja outside! It's gotta be the psycho foot lady's friend!"



"Ninja?" Laura tilted her head, until realization covered her face like falling snow, and all at once she catapulted herself off the bed; all but deftly landing into her panties to reserve a level of modesty before she flung her bedroom door open and piled into the living room. I scrambled behind, whatever killer instinct that hadn't been coddled out of me the night before being summoned into my rapidly beating heart; ready to face down another potentially impossible foe.

Laura stuck out her arm to stop me, harshly digging her palm into my chest, before putting her finger to her lips and slowly drifting to the front door. She looked through the peephole out at the hallway between the two penthouse suites...before wincing away when a firm knocking banged onto the black lacquered wood.

"Law Enforcement! I just have some questions to ask you, no one's due for an arrest, you'd be outside of my jurisdiction anyways." came a strong, but even woman's voice from the other side.

Laura tilted her head, creeping back away from the door back towards Sean and I.

"I already know you're in there, Laura Matsuda, Sean Matsuda, and a third man without any identification on record. You came straight here after being attacked by Juri Han."

"Oh yeah? What sorta cop dresses like a ninja?!" Laura shouts back, cracking her neck and running her hands through her hair-catching arcs of yellow electricity into her hands, "And if you're so good at following people then why haven't you stopped her yet?!"

"United Nations," the stranger deadpanned with no attempt to hide her contempt. She clearly had been told how to do her job by peons one too many times. "Juri Han is an internationally wanted criminal with a device capable of supernaturally affecting the luck of the universe implanted into her body, you three are regular citizens. Following you was simple. Now, you can either open the door, we can continue our conversation respectfully and answer each other's questions through the door, or I can write this door off as a necessary collateral damage for the UN's peacekeeping operations. The choice is yours, but ultimately I will hear what I need to hear."

"Got a warrant?" Laura put her hands on her hips, "If not, then you can take those questions and-" She grunted, seeing a slip of paper get slid through the mail slot in the door. She grumbled, scooping the page up and crumbling it up in her hand, before tossing it behind her, "Alright, fine, we can speak through the door..."


"Laura...she's here to help," I reasoned, coming over next to her and reaching for the door, only to have my hand smacked away by the bonita.

"...Or this is all a ruse...We don't know who Juri is and what exactly she wants, more importantly who that psycho spider lady is friends with," she argued back.

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