INSIDE THIS ROOM

CHAPTER IV: Small Cracks

I WAS stirred by a subtle sensation, something warm and soft moving against my most intimate part. Groggily, I opened my eyes, letting the haze of sleep lift, only to be met with an unexpected sight. There, in the dim light of the room, was Hermes, his gaze locked with mine as he tenderly took me into his mouth.

A surge of electricity coursed through me as reality sank in. the way his lips moved, the deliberate rhythm, sent waves of pleasure rippling through my body. He was focused, each movement a careful blend of desire and devotion. My breath fastened, a moan slipping past my lips as I reached down, my fingers in his hair, urging him on.

Nagningning ang mga mata ni Hermes, puno ng nakakaakit na tingin at lambing habang ipinagpatuloy ang ginagawa niya, ang bawat haplos niya'y parehong banayad at matindi. Para bang huminto ang oras, ang mundo ay naglaho, at kaming dalawa na lang ang natira, magkasama sa napaka-intimate na sandali.

Habang tumatagal, lalo pang tumindi ang sensasyon, bawat segundo'y nag-aapoy ang aking pakiramdam dahil sa sobrang lapit naming dalawa. It wasn't just the physical sensation; it was the unspoken connection between us, the understanding that this was more than just an act. It was an expression of everything we couldn't always put into words. Hanggang sa naramdaman kong papalapit na ako sa sukdulan, ang bawat himaymay ng aking katawan ay nag-aalab, handa nang bumigay sa tindi ng sarap na dulot ng kaniyang pagtaas baba.

Hindi ko na mapigilan, at ang init sa loob ko ay tumindi sa bawat pintig ng aking psuo. Hinigpitan ko ang pagkakahawak sa buhok ni Hermes, hindi ko alam kung dapat ba siyang pigilan o hayaan siyang ituloy ang ginagawa niya. Ngunit tila nababasa niya ang iniisip ko—mas lalo niyang binilisan ang bawat pagglaw, mas lalo niyang pinatindi ang sensasyon.

With every second, the pleasure consumed me more deeply, the heat in my belly gradually spreading until I had no choice by to let out a moan. Finally, I gave in completely, my entire body trembling as I experienced an overwhelming surge of ecstasy. Hermes didn't stop; he welcomed everything, while I slowly came down from the peak of pleasure. As my breath returned to normal, I gazed at him—my eyes filled with gratitude and love. He nodded slightly, as if saying, "Nakabawi ba ko?"

After out intimate time together, I found myself withdrawing, a coldness creeping into the space between us. Iniiwisan ko ang mga tingin ni Hermes sa akin, hindi ko pinapansin ang mga pagtatangka niyang makipag-usap. Nang tanungin niya ako, "Okay ka lang ba, Love?" pilit kong nginitian siya, pero alam kong halata ang peke sa ngiti ko.

"Yeah, I'm fine," sagot ko, pero damdam ko ang bigat ng kasinungalingan sa pagitan namin. Deep down, resentment started to build, fueled by the small things that had been gnawing at me—like how Hermes didn't come home last night, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Or how he had missed giving me a gift during out Saturday night dinner, not just once, but twice. It was a tradition we'd upheld since the beginning, a small gesture that meant the world to me. Hindi naman sa materialistic akong bagay, nasanay lang talaga ako na binibigyan niya ako. But now, it felt like he was slipping away, and I couldn't shake the feeling of being taken for granted.

SUMAPIT ang gabi, habang magkatapat kaming nakaupo sa hapunan, parang napakaingay ng katahimikan sa pagitan namin. Kitang-kita ko ang pagkabalisa sa mga mata niya, na tila sumasalamin sa nararamdaman ko. He's trying to break the tension by asking, "How was your day, Love?" but his voice lacked the usual warmth.

"Fine," I replied curtly, pushing my food around my plate. Gusto ko pa sanang magsalita, tanungin siya kung bakit hindi siya umuwi kagabi... why he forgot our Saturday night tradition again, but the words wouldn't come.

Napabuntong-hininga siya at inilapag ang tinidor. "Parang ang layo mo na sa akin nitong mga huling nakaraang araw, Love, ha. May problema ba?"

What? The audacity to tell me that. Alam naman niya kung ano ang mga pagkukulang niya, pero heto siya't nagtataka kung bakit ako nagtatampo sa kaniya. I looked up, meeting his gaze for a moment before looking away. "Why didn't you come home last night?" I asked quietly, my voice barely above a whisper.

Nag-alinlangan siya, halatang nabigla. "Kailangan kong mag-overtime sa trabaho. Ayoko sana kitang gisingin," paliwanag niya, pero narinig ko ang bahagyang pagtatanggol sa tono ng boses niya.

"And the gifts? You used to never forget," I pressed, unable to keep the hurt out of my voice.

"I'm sorry, Love," sabi niya, habang kinakamot ang likod ng kaniyang leeg, "Things have just been hectic lately. I didn't mean to—"

"It's not about the gifts," I interrupted, my voice trembling. "It's about what they present. It feels like you're slipping away, like we're slipping away."

Hermes reached across the table, taking my hands in his. "I'm still here," he said softly, his eyes pleading with me to believe him. "We're still here."

Ngunit habang tinitingnan ko siya, hindi ko maiwasang maramdaman na may nagbago sa pagitan namin. The first signs of tension were subtle, almost imperceptible—an offhand remark that didn't land right, a brief moment of silence that lingered just a bit too long. Pareho naming napansin ito, pero wala sa amin ang nagsalita. Pinaubaya namin ang mga sandaling iyon, parang hindi naman mahalaga. But deep down, I knew they did. They foundation we had built was staring to crack, and I wasn't sure how to stop it.

It's amazing how small things could make an impact on oneself. Even the seemingly insignificant moments, the forgotten gestures, and the unspoken words, can build up over time, creating rifts where there once was peace. The conversation that followed wasn't easy, but it was necessary. We talked through our frustrations, our fears, and our hopes. Masakit man, pero isang mahalagang hakbang ito upang hindi tuluyan lumayo ang puso sa isa't isa.

In the end, I hoped that by addressing the small things, we could rebuild the foundation of our relationship, brick by brick, and find our way to the closeness we once had.