INSIDE THIS ROOM

CHAPTER III: Unbreakable Bond

ONE night, Hermes came home from work. He was involved in an ongoing renovation project for a new branch of a famous coffee shop in town. I was busy preparing our dinner, and I had cooked his favorite dish—white spaghetti with Margaux red wine.

Nang mapansin kong dumating na siya, agad ko siyang sinalubong at kinuha ang dala niyang laptop case. Pinaupo ko siya sa couch at mabilis na nagtungo sa refrigerator upang kumuha ng maiinom niya. I can see through his every movement and the heaviness of his breathing—my love is tired.

Tonight is Saturday, and we always make time to eat together during dinner. It has become a tradition for both of us. Since he started getting his name on various projects, he has become known for his exceptional artworks and of course, busier. Now, he has a job while I'm still working as a writer. But it doesn't matter—as long as we both agree to make things work and still have time for each other, there's nothing we should worry about.

"How was your work today, Love?" Nauna na akong magsalita habang nilalagyan ko ng white spaghetti 'yong plato niya.

Ngumiti muna siya bago nagsalita. "As usual, okay lang." At saka uminum ng kaunting wine.

Nang matapos ko siyang kuhanan ng maiinom, bumalik ako sa tabi niya at naupo. We started to talk about his day, but I could tell something was off. Hermes was unusually quiet, and I could see the tiredness not just in his body, but in his eyes as well.

"Let's watch a movie tonight, Love," I suggested, hoping to lift his spirits. He nodded and gave me a small smile. I decided to play something that we both loved—Call Me by Your Name by André Aciman. It's one of those movies that we've watched several times, but it never gets old. It's romantic, nostalgic, and always stirs up deep emotions in both of us.

As the movie started, I keep glancing at him e every now and then. He seemed distracted, not fully engrossed in the film as he usually is. Halfway through the movie, during a particularly quiet moment, I turned to him and took a deep breath.

"Love," I started, my voice gentle but with a hint of concern, "you seem quiet tonight. Is everything okay?"

He looked at me, slightly surprised that I was asking when it was him who seemed off. But then I realized he was trying to divert the attention from himself.

"I'm fine," he replied. "But I should be asking you that. Ang tahimik mo simula no'ng nag-umpisa ang movie. Is everything okay?"

I sighed. "Actually, yes, there is. I've been feeling off because I think you forgot something."

He arched an eyebrow, now genuinely concerned. "What is it?" Hindi ako sumagot. Tiningnan ko lang siya sa kaniyang mga mata, hinahayaan siyang siya mismo ang makaisip kung ano ang dahilan ng aking pagkalungkot.

"Oh, shoot! I almost forgot the gift I always give you every weekend. Sobrang pagod at abala ko sa trabaho, muntik ko tuloy nakalimutan ibigay sa 'yo," he explained, his voice tinged with guilt.

Ngumiti na lang ako, at nagkaroon ng ginhawa sa puso't isipan ko. Akala ko nakalimutan niya talaga. "You don't have to worry about that, Love. I'm just happy you're here with me, spending time together."

Hermes reached into his bag, a little sheepishly, and pulled out a small, neatly wrapped box. "It turns out hindi ko pala nakalimutan. Sobrang pagod lang ako... na hindi ko naisip na may dala pala ako para sa 'yo."

I laughed softly, taking the box from him. "Thank you. But seriously, you didn't have to worry about it. You've been working so hard, and that means more to me than any gift."

We shared a tender moment, both of us realizing that sometimes, just being there for each other is the greatest gift of all. As the movie played on, we held each other close, the weight of the day slowly lifting, replaced by the comfort and warmth of our love.

Tinulak ko siya ng marahas sa kama, sapat na lakas upang siya'y tuluyang mapahiga. Agad akong pumaibabaw sa kaniya, nakaupo sa kaniyang ibabang bahagi ng tiyan. I could feel the heat of his body pressing against me, his arousal evident beneath me. With a slow, deliberate motion, I peeled off my shirt, tossing it carelessly onto the floor. The cool air brushed against my bare skin, sending a shiver down my spine.

His eyes darkened with desire as they roamed over me, taking in every inch of exposed skin. I leaned down, letting my breath warm the space between us, and whispered in his ear, "You're mine tonight." My lips brushed against his earlobe, teasing him with the promise of what was to come.

His hands instinctively reached for my waist, fingers digging into my flesh as he pulled me closer, but I held back, teasing him with just enough distance to drive him crazy. I could feel his breathing quicken beneath me, his chest rising and falling as he struggled to maintain control.

I ran my hands slowly down his chest, feeling the hard muscles beneath his shirt. With a mischievous grin, I reached for the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and over his head in one swift motion. My fingers traced the lines of his abdomen, divided by the muscles into symmetrical sections, and horizontal lines that created the six-pack look, savoring the sensation of his skin under my touch.

He tried to flip me over, but I pressed him back down with a playful smirk. "Not so fast," I murmured, my voice husky with anticipation. "Tonight, I'm in charge."

Leaning in, I captured his lips in a deep, passionate kiss, letting my body mold against his as I took control. The night stretched before us, filled with the unspoken promise of desire and surrender.

PERO akala ko isang beses lang mangyayari ang gabing 'yon sa amin, o kahit man lang may gap bago mangyari ulit, na makakalimutan niyang magbigay ng gift sa akin. Sadly, hindi gano'n ang nangyari. It became consistent for two consecutive weekends, and since then, I never felt at ease. I knew there was something wrong. Then the third Saturday came. He didn't come home.

"Hello, Love?" Hinintay ko ang tawag niya. Kaya no'ng nag-ring ang phone ko, agad ko itong sinagot. I was shivering, waiting for his call.

"Hello, Love. I am so sorry. I couldn't leave the site because we needed to finish the project as soon as possible. Alam kong nag-aalala ka sa akin, kaya I called you immediately no'ng nagka-time ako." He sounds worried. And so, of course, I told him I understood. I didn't want to make things harder for him, but deep inside, my heart ached. The effort I put into preparing dinner was wasted.

"Thank you, Love. Promise babawi ako sa 'yo, okay?"

I ate alone, drank alone, watched the movie alone, and eventually, slept alone. It was the first time I slept alone in our bed since we moved here. I never felt so lonely in my entire life.

Pero nilakasan ko ang aking loob. Akala ko magiging madali lang para sa akin, pero mali pala ako. Ang hirap. Hindi ko kinaya. Hindi ako nakatulog ng buong gabi. Sa mga oras na 'yon, hindi ko napigilan ang aking sarili na mag-isip ng kung anu-anong bagay. Naiwan akong nagmumuni-muni, iniisip ang mga nangyari sa buhay ko—ang gabing nagbago ang lahat.

Nang malaman ni Mommy ang totoo tungkol sa pagkato ko, hindi ko inasahan ang naging reaksyon niya. Ang sakit ng mga salitang binitiwan niya, ay tila mga kutsilyong paulit-ulit na tumatama sa puso ko. "I no longer have a child like you," sabi niya, ang lamig ng kaniyang tinig, ay parang nagyeyelong hangin na dumurog sa akin.

I can't believe it. Ang babaeng bumuhay sa akin, nag-aruga, at nagmahal—siya rin pala ang unang magtatakwil sa akin nang dahil lang sa kung sino ako. Iyon ang gabing tuluyan akong nawala sa sarili. Parang ako'y isang estranghero sa sarili kong tahanan.

I kept searching for the reason, wondering where I went wrong—what I did wrong. Pero wala akong makita. Wala akong magawa. Sinubukan kong intindihin, pero ang bigat ng pighati at galit ay naghalo sa dibdib ko. Gusto kong sumigaw, magwala, pero walang boses na lumabas.

Hindi ko na napigilang umiyak, mga luha na pilit kong pinipigilan mula pa kanina. Walang ibang tunog sa gabing iyon kundi ang mga hikbi kong nababasag ng mga alaala ng paghatol na hindi ko inakala mula sa taong inaasahan kong magmamahal sa akin ng walang kondisyon.

Since then, I knew that everything would never be the same. Wala na akong pamilyang matatakbuhan, wala nang tahanang masisilungan. Ang gabing iyon ang nagturo sa akin na ang pagiging totoo sa sarili ay may kabayaran—at sa pagkakataong ito, ang kapalit ay ang tanging ina na nagpalaki sa akin.

This is my home now... with Hermes by my side, right here inside this room.