(un)forgettable

18 Nadir

Luc

This brave, beautiful, and stupid man came to save me.

I just chose my freedom over him.

And he came here to risk his life for me.

I don't deserve him.

My power is back. I can feel it coiling in my belly, tingles on my fingertips. I never noticed it before. I got so used to it that it became something natural to me. Like breathing or vision. You don't think about how you do it or how does it feel. It's always there. But now, after losing the Forgettizer for more than a day, I can feel it back in my body. It makes me stronger, more focused, more alert, and more myself.

That thought makes me feel guilty. There's a tiny whisper in my head saying, "You could be yourself with the General. You wouldn't have to hide the demon anymore – you could be the demon." It would be so easy to be seduced by the freedom and say Yes to the dark side. I push those thoughts away. Even if I was born a monster, I can choose to be someone else.

"You okay?" Fort asks quietly as we walk past the fountain. I nod. There is so much I need to tell him. There is so much I need to ask. But now is not the time. Now, we have to get the fuck out of here as fast as possible.

There is a noise coming from the front door of the villa, some heavy steps. I ignore it and speed up toward the gates. Fort is one step behind.

There's a girl on the other side of the fence. She's waving her hand for us to come faster. Fort's ex. Why the hell did he take her with him?

I turn back to Fort to say we should run. That's when I hear gunshots. I duck and run for the exit. "Come on!" I scream to Fort.

But Fort doesn't run after me. He slows down instead and slumps forward like his feet have suddenly turned into rubber tubes. He falls on his hands and rolls to his side. "Fort." I don't move, I just watch, detached, paralyzed, like this is happening in a movie or a parallel universe.

"Fort!" Fort's ex yells and runs up to him.

This can't be real. This is absurd. How can it be real? Come on, Fort. Come on. Get up. Come to me. I need you.

The girl is already by his side, touching his face, checking his pulse. I just stand there, watching.

"You really thought I'd let you go just like that?" the General says. He stands ten feet away from me. There are three armed men in black right behind him, all in gloves and balaclavas. "I'm so disappointed in you." The General takes a step forward. "You've got no choice, my boy. The more you resist, the more people are going to get hurt." He sounds pleased, excited even. This is what he does for fun. I watch Fort's ex pressing her hands onto his wound to stop the bleeding. Her hands are red. There's so much blood. I feel sick. "I can kill them both if you want," the General says. "People disappear all the time," he shrugs and then raises his finger like he's got a better idea. "Maybe you killed them in a jealous murder spree? How would you like that? It would fit right in with your criminal history. What do you think?"

Her hands are in his blood. She's whispering something to Fort. She's crying. His eyes are closed now.

There is no me without you.

If you die, I die.

And no one else will get hurt because of me.

I'd die to stop it. To stop the General.

I'd live for Fort. But if he's gone, there's nothing left for me.

Fuck it.

I lunge at the General with a roar, with the anger and pain of a wounded tiger. Someone catches me. I kick and fight with all I've got. The General just laughs at me.