Him <3 ~A Zayn Malik Fan-Fiction~

~Chapter 13~ The Hurt

I cried myself to sleep that night, and the 10  nights that followed.   I felt like a lonely soul who had no one.  My heart throbbed for someone to love me. 

The words Zayn said to me hurt me.  He made me feel less than nothing.  I never would expect him to ever hurt me.  I felt like he was perfect for me.  But I guess it wasn't Him. 

I couldn't even count how many times my mind said "I told you so." This is what happened when you fell for someone.  This is what happened when you showed someone affection.  

I went to school with a strong armor, but as soon as I walked through the door of my bedroom, the tears could not stop falling.  I had gotten so used to being with him, laughing with him, kissing him, and falling for him, I had forgotten what it felt like to be alone.  

I opened my eyes on the windy October  Saturday morning. I looked out my window to see the leaves on the trees start to turn to a pretty orange.  I looked at the clock to see it was almost 5 am.  I got out of bed to look at myself in the mirror.  My eyes were bloodshot from the tears that drowned my emotion, my head was pounding from the stress that wore me down, and my heart torn from the love sucked away at a wisp.   My body was weak from not eating at all.  I wanted the old me back.  Not as the fucked up girl, but as the semi fuckedup girl.

I soaked myself in a hot bath.  I thought about all the hurt that had been bundled up in my system.  I thought about how much I actually fell for Zayn.  

He did exactly what I though he would do.  He sucked me in, he did his get-up, he made me weak, and he broke my heart.  It was typical.  I was just to fucking stupid to realize.

I never wanted to talk to Zayn again, but I couldn't get him out my head.  He made me feel special, he made me feel beautiful, he made me feel love. ven t 

As I tried to erase all the memories out my head, I get a text from Him. 

I'm sorry

for all the pain I've caused you

and all the words

that slipped idly by my lips.

I'm sorry

for the nights you've spent all alone

with your tears.

And me- wanting nothing more

but to wipe them

from your beautiful face,

I knew they were only there

because of me.

It kills me you see us like this.

To see you like this, and me.

I stand here

helpless to do anything

but beg for your forgiveness

and ask for another chance-

yet again.

And so I give you a rose, these words

a symbol of my remorse

and of my hope

for an everlasting reconcilement.    

~Zayn

I looked at the text in disbelief.  He had such a way with words.  I didn't want to believe him or his poem.  I didn't want to fall in love again. I didn't need to.  

But I couln't resist Him.  I couldn't resist the one thing that made me happy. 

I told him to meet me in the park.