Oneshots of the Deranged

The Masterpiece | Yamagod Haruchad

Written by: chimmugchiggus.

This is a reupload from another book that we had in our group of friends. Unfortunately, that story was archived, so now it's being uploaded here.

Ayanokouji Kiyone POV:

It was a run of the mill day, I was returning to my dorm to spend some time with my new girlfriend Karuizawa Kei.

That's right, I'm a lesbian.

Don't you just love when people randomly make me a girl, and then make Horikita and Kushida obsessed with me for no reason?

We all know who does that.

At first, I thought I just couldn't feel anything, regardless of it being a man or a woman. However, touching Kei's thighs on the cruise ship made me feel things I didn't think were possible.

I remember running my fingertips across Kei's thighs. She felt so incredibly

soft that I couldn't even imagine that she was a person like me. Her skin was

silky smooth. The feel of it was incredibly different from my own.

Of course they were different from my own, I'm a completely average person with no good looks. For some reason, Kushida and Horikita piss me off.

I hate HATE Horikita, yeah that's right, fuck you @i_am_delusional.

I made my way to the elevator, and I was subtly reminded of the day when it broke down, and I was forced to spend all my time with Ibuki. Since that time, people think I can destroy a complete elevator with one punch, but that's just wrong because I am a completely average person.

I entered the elevator, pressing on the button of my floor. While I waited, seemingly out of thin air, a butt-naked individual phased through the wall. He fell directly on top of me, and I felt his drizzy-drake poking me like a T-Rex. The smell and reflectiveness of it was so intense, that I was blinded for a moment.

When I opened my eyes again, I saw a face that I thought I'd never see in this situation.

Yamauchi Haruki.

The first question that ran through my head was: Why is it so big–

I mean, why is he here?

The last I saw of this inbred was in the class-poll special exam, where he was escorted out of class, while crying like a little girl. My next question: How did this man phase through a wall?

It was as if the laws of physics were working against me today, just like how every COTE author tries to fuck me over, including Kinugasa. I read Year 2 Volume 11 recently, and I realized how mid I am.

This is not very daijobu.

He looked at me, his eyes flashing in recognition. Instead of being flustered that he was naked in front of an albeit, average, girl; he let out a sultry moan, "AAAHN!~ Hey pookie!~"

In all honesty, I was baffled. I didn't even understand what his slang meant, despite having spent all my day with Internet-sensei. I even got on a discord server, called "Orario (Illusions and Delusions 2.0)", but this guy called 'Delu my pookie wookie' kept harassing me over and over again. This other bright individual named 'Reprobate' then banned me, calling me a 'stupid ass loner'. He told me that I shouldn't roleplay a 'mid ass character' because he was a harem enthusiast.

Anyway, back to this situation.

"Yamauchi... how did you get here?" I asked, confusedly. In retrospect, I haven't spent 600 words on a dumb monologue about how Yamauchi got kicked out of ANHS, this is a mistake on my part, and I should use ChatGPT to generate it for me.