Loving Sal,

CHAPTER 1

I immediately changed my clothes and my underwear at agad ng bumaba sa dining area. Pagkadating ko don ay agad kong nakita si ate Krista na tinaasan lang ako ng kilay at si Gwen na maya't mayang tingin ng tingin sa selpon. Si mama naman ay tahimik lang habang si papa ay ganon then. "Ang tagal mo Adira, gutom na talaga kami" reklamo ni ate Krista.

"Sorry, busy lang" I told them and sat in my chair.

"Nga pala Adira, pumunta dito kanina yung bestfriend mo na si Miski ba yon?" Ate krista said and I almost choked. Miski went here? to all bading out there, we all knew that the term "best friend" is used synonymously to partner and such. My ate just laugh, as if she knew what I am hiding. "may pinapabigay lang, kunin mo sakin mamaya"

I ate in silence while my ate silently teasing me. Miski has been my girlfriend for almost two years, naging kami nung pandemic. I don't think I really loved her, but I can't bear the feeling of being single and alone, that's why I keep her. That sounds so wrong but I would rather be wrong than be lonely.

I felt my mother's gazed at me, I turn at her and saw her face covered with disappointment and disgut. "Pahabahin mo nga yang buhok mo Adira, hindi ita inuluwal at pinalaki para maging ganyan." she said, nangliit ako sa mga sinabi nya. "Tamo, maya maya pag-uusapan ka naman don sa labas na mukha kang tomboy"

"Ma-"

"Ehh totoo naman Krista ah, ang sagwa. wala akong anak na tomboy, kaya ikaw Adira umayos-ayos ka"

I swallowed my tears and just nodded at her. "Opo ma" I ate as fast as I could and went back to my room where I can be myself more. I lie down in my bed, sighing heavily. Simula nung nagpagupit ako, naging malamig na ang trato sakin si mama, siguro dahil nakukutoban nya na hindi ako straight katulad ng kapatid ko.

Sapat ba na dahilan ang pag-eexpress ko ng sarili ko para makareceive ng cold treatment mula sa taong nagluwal sa'kin? is self expression is enough ground for me to be treated as a shit in this household.

I feel like shit, I feel like crying when suddenly my phone vibrated, it was a message from mitski.

Bebe, baby, love:

Did you receive my gift :)

Magre-reply sana ako when I heard a knock on my door, without permission I saw ate krista entering my room. "hayaan mo na si mama, ganun talaga yun" she said as she walk toward me, may dala dala syang paper bag at inabot niya iyon sa sa'kin " Galing sa bebe mo"

I stared at her.

She knew?

"Alam ko, jowa mo yun. Mahilig ka kasi sa anime dati, kaya hindi na ko nagtataka kung bakit may lahing japanese jowa mo"

"Ate!"

"ano bang tawag nyo dun wifey? waifu?"

"Ate! Ano ba you are embarrassing me" I said and snatched the paper bag from her. she sat on my bed, as I opened the bag and saw a book in there. Nung kinuha ko to saka ko na lang na-realized that it is the latest copy of my favorite manga. OMG! It must cost a fortune! Did Mitski really buy it for me? Kinakal ko ang bag at may nakita akong note don.

I saw it in the bookstore yesterday, and I remember you.

love youuu

"Hayss, daig mo ba ko eh. Ako nga wala ng jowa, wala pang labyu!" my ate said.

"Paano ka naman magkakajowa eh hindi ka naman nalandi"

"Pano naman ako lalandi eh sainyo palang ubos na oras ko" sumbat nya pabalik. My ate have been the breadwinner of this family, my father is only a jeepney driver at sa sitwasyon ng mga jeepney driver ngayon, talagang lugi ang tatay ko sa pamamasada nya samantalang si mama, labandera lang. Ginugol ni ate krista ang oras nya pagsisideline hbang nag-aaral. Nag-checheograph tuwing freetime ya sa mga dancefest at festival dance,sa ganon naakatulong sya sa bahay at sa pangmatrikula nya.

"Ate sa tingin mo galit si mama" I said "kasi ganito ako?"

My question left the air silent for a while. I stare at my ate searching for answers.

"Wag mong isipin yon. Mahal ka ni mama, pero hindi n'ya palang tanggap"

"Mali ba ako na ganito ako?"

"Adira. Do not think like that, kung hindi ka man tanggap ni mama, nandito ako. Ako tanggap kita." May ate and hugged me and I broke down into her warmth. I am so lucky to have her, to have someone to rely on.

"So ayos lang sayo na kami ni Mistki?"

"Uu. Ang hindi lang ayos sa'kin ay itinago mo"

"I thought you'd be mad" she shook her head and laughed.

"Why would I be mad that my little sister has found love?" she said, smiling. "Look, Adira, there are only a few of you, only a few people in this world who have found love and cherished it. Don't waste Mitski, she look like a good girl"

I nodded in silent agreement. We stayed like that for minutes or so until nagpaalam na sya dahil may gagawin a daw siyang project.

I replied to Mitski and we chatted the entire night.

Before sleeping, I open my chrome app and started kung ano ang hindi ko natapos kanina.

This time I was not interruptted.