Kenan Yildiz - You Don't Always Get A Second Chance

Chp. 5

Yes I was.

Yes I was about to let him do what he wanted.

Because after all he is Kenan.. the man I loved.. the man I still love.

"Just for tonight Bella... please..."

His breath is still on my neck and it's obvious he knows he has full control over me right now.

The little part of me that believed that I could reject him was completely gone, pathetic enough.

"Please..."

He whispers into my ear his lips grazing my earlobe. He sounds so desperate and vulnerable almost like he needs it. Desperately.

The Kenan I know wouldn't be begging. He never begged and especially not for intercourse. In fact, if he wanted it. He got it.

He could practically have any girl he wanted but here he was. Begging me. Why? I'm not complaining but it just doesn't suit the Kenan I know. He would never. Unless... no. I'm not letting my thoughts go there... I'm not going to give myself false hope. Definitely not when it comes to Kenan.

How do I know he wasn't in some random girls' pants last night? Fuck! I'm overthinking it again. And it's not like I have a say in what he does with other girls when we aren't dating. But the thought still makes me uncomfortable and jealous.

His words bring me out of my complicated thoughts.

"Bella... please let me be your only focus for tonight. I need it... please"

"Why Kenan...?"

Why only one night? Is that all I am to you? Did you really mean it when you said I was only a good fuck? Was what I really wanted to ask but I knew that would blow it all.

I whisper back as I lightly push his face away from my neck so I can look him in the eyes. So, I can see his true intentions.

"Bella, I just need you... you don't know- please..."

His words are soft and sincere or maybe he's just good at playing his role. But it doesn't really matter cause I'm falling for it anyways. Falling for him, all over again.

His gentle words with his soft facial expression have always been a deadly combination.

I lightly place my hand on the back of his neck slowly pulling him down to my height, our lips meeting in a gentle yet burning kiss.

I've missed it. His lips on mine. As much as I don't wanna admit it I had missed his soft lips. And I wonder if he did too. If he also missed me like I missed him. And not just his lips but him.

I feel Kenan physically melt into the kiss and his hands find their way back to my hips once again. A soft moan slips from my mouth and it only seems to arouse him more.

The kiss grows rougher but it's not something I'm not used to. That's how it usually goes with Kenan. The real Kenan. Not this weird act he's putting on.

I should have guessed his little moment of vulnerability and gentleness only was short term. But his eyes show me a different conclusion.

He backs me up against the wall, pushing my hips into the surface. He suddenly pulls away from the kiss, breathing heavily. He looks me up and down but not with his usual hungry gaze. This one is more... caring. Loving even? But I quickly brush the thought away.

"Is that a yes...? I need an answer Bella... Yes or no? I'll tell you everything later..."

A promise. A empty promise.

"Please..."

His voice comes out ragged.

Could he stop with please for one second! If he continues begging me i don't know what'll happen. And I hate myself for it, for not even being able to resist his empty words.

But who was I kidding? He was Kenan Yildiz after all. The man who pulled of the eyebrow slit like no one else. The man only I should hold. The man who was the only man I wanted.

I know he sounds like a total asshole but it's only because of the stress from his football. Right? Once that's over he'll come back. Come back to his senses. Come back nicer and sweeter....

My expression turns empty as I look past his face. Into the reality of my situation. The reality of my feelings. The reality of my desires.

One night can change everything. But nothing at the same time.

"Bella, I know I'm asking for a lot but... Bella please... I need this..."

He whispers. Why is he so desperate? I know he has another motive he's not telling me because Kenan Yildiz would never be this desperate for sex. But I can't deny the effect it has on me physically and emotionally.

He presses his body up against mine pinning me in between him and the wall. He lifts my right leg to rest around his hip, bringing our bodies as close as possible.

Every part and every bit of my body is on fire. His touch only adding to the intensity.
Luckily no one has walked by the hallway we're standing in but my instincts is telling me not for long.

"Not here Kenan. Please let's go home..."
I say giving him a quick loving peck on the lips. Of course that wasn't my only reason. I didn't want him to run off after having his way, pretending like nothing happened. I wanted to see him beside me the next morning.

Wanted one night to change everything.

"Okay baby... whatever you want. Let's go to your place."

He says softly, taking a step back from me, letting my foot hit the ground again. He tugs my dress down to not expose to much skin then it already does because of the thigh slit.

We somehow make it out the house without no one else noticing. I hop in his car and buckle my seatbelt. He gets in the driver's seat and immediately starts the engine. Silence fills the moving car.

Kenans pov*
I've been so unfocused ever since we broke up and it's not only pulling me down but also my team.

If I keep this up, I can't guarantee we'll win our next match which isn't that long from now.

I'm stressed, I'm nervous, I'm scared, I'm afraid and they're not all because of my next match.

I needed to get my shit together even if that meant using her. Even if that was the last thing I wanted to do.

Bella may be important but... my football was a tad bit more important besides I'm sure she wouldn't mind a night of fun...

I knew that it was what I needed for my sanity and my team's sake. Even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. I just had to pray it would work.

But the thing I most definitely didn't want to do was apologize and ask for her back. I still needed my ego to be intact after winning. If we do win.

It was selfish, I know but it was for my own good. Bella cared about the team almost as much as I do so she wound understand. Losing a match knowing you're the reason is almost every players worst scenario.

Being distracted is never a good thing. Ever since she's been the only thing on my mind, I've tried almost everything to get her out of my mind, but I can't.

I've tried spending more time in the gym, partying more, playing football until I can barely run, and I even considered sleeping with other women but figured it would be pointless.

If it took all this to get her out of my mind I must be doing something wrong.