Novaturience of a Ninja

Ever Older, None the Wiser

"Have you seen the scroll?"

Misako responded to her son's question with a raised eyebrow.

"The one with the raised dragon embellishment? On both the scroll ends and the edges?"

His mother shook her head, watching in obvious concern as he turned away, mumbling to himself. Green Ninja though he may have been, his duties as a ninja or even as a temporary leader had never seen him this agitated and distracted.

"And before you ask, Mom, I'm not distracted."

Misako cleared her throat, holding out an arm to stop her son as he rushed by. "Maybe you need a break from this. There can't possibly be a need for you to sort all of these scrolls, even aboard the Bounty there are too many. Why don't you find some of the other ninja and join them?"

He immediately shook his head, the same dull look in his eyes. "No, I need to keep busy. If I lose my focus, how will I ever be able to focus on moving on?"

"Lloyd, the only way to find change is to let go. You cannot let go by trying to take Wu's place." She sighed deeply, grief obvious in her own eyes. "I know how you feel. I miss him too. But we need to move on. You agreed to help your teammates seek the change they need, so why can you not allow them to help you?"

"I don't know. I do know I need something to distract myself."

Not that it's really helping me. Mom does have a point, but how am I ever supposed to lead if I can't be strong.

"Maybe you shouldn't force these things upon yourself so much. If you really are searching for your novaturience, the change should come naturally." She took him by the shoulders, forcing him to look her in the eyes. "Besides, you've already changed quite a bit recently."

Lloyd automatically brushed his fingertips along his sleeve. Where the green sleeve of the gi of the green ninja had once been rolled numerous times to fit, his current gi had been long outgrown a few weeks ago.

Just because it counts as change enough doesn't mean I have to like it. I wasn't prepared the first time I had to grow up suddenly, but even that doesn't compare to suddenly being the one in charge of the rest of the ninja, or even my own destiny.

He bit his lip.

In fact, now that I have more control over what happens, I hate it more than ever. First Dad, and now Uncle Wu. I'm not like them, I don't have the experience I need.

Misako, as usual, seemed able to read her son's mind through the expressions parading across the young face.

"You're not them."

Lloyd started guiltily, attempting to shrug away her hand.

"You never were, and we don't expect you to be. You don't have to be someone you aren't to lead your friends and to protect them and Ninjago."

"Then who am I? What can I do that's so supposedly simple? I can't forget what happened to him, to both of them." The Green Ninja shuddered as his voice cracked dreadfully, emotion too heavy to quell.

"Be yourself." Misako spoke so softly that Lloyd wondered if he hadn't heard the answer in his mind instead. "Be who you're meant to be. Make your own choices, now that you don't need to fear or chase after a prophecy deciding what's to come. And, most of all..."

"Allow my friends to help me since I'm not alone and there's no reason I have to be?"

"Now you're getting it. Let me know if you need any more wonderful words of wisdom, but if you've finished panicking and overthinking, I'll be below deck."