Had so many issues with this chapter I completely forgot that I took it down. Sorry y'all 😅
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𝐵𝑒𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒́
We sat before each other, face to face and eye to eye. I didn't know how to begin, or even what I should say. I'm usually the one having to tell Onika to talk to me. Never the other way around.
I understand her concern though. We wanted nothing more than for this relationship to prosper. For both our sake and our child. Talking things out and communicating privately about our relationship has been so beneficial, but I hated to think that she'd be upset with me over something as little as this.
"Would you like to start?" I asked, taking her hand in mine. We were sitting in our remodeled living space, the pit sofa that she wanted circled around us in thick cushions. Onika hummed, looking away for a moment and bringing her other hand to cup my face.
"You know how much I love you, right?" Her question catches me the slightest bit off guard. I frowned, not knowing where she was going with that statement. I opened my mouth to, then closed it immediately, opting to hear her out before I could jump to conclusions. "Bey, I want you to be so honest with me, because I don't want this to define our relationship moving forward. I love you so much and I know you love me, too. However, I want to be sure that you aren't trying to use me in any way."
"How and why would I try to use you, Onika?" I didn't want to be offended, but it was irking me that she would even question my loyalty to her in that way. "You're the love of my life. You're having my baby, Onika. Why would you think I'm using you?"
She shied away, her features softened. I couldn't stand my loyalty being questioned, but I tried to stay calm. She knew better than to think that, it makes no sense why she lets others get into her head about me.
"Do you not think I love you?" I hated to ask, but that's what it felt like. "I would never use you. I worked so hard to become the woman you needed me to be, if I didn't love you I would still be doing the same shit I did before you changed my life. We're eight months into a relationship and you're questioning it right now? C'mon, Onika." I chuckled coldly.
"I don't mean it like that–"
"It sounds like that, mama. But please, enlighten me on how you truly meant it."
"What happened between you and your ex, Beyoncé? Why did you become so..."
"Whorish? Aggressive? Obsessive?" I finished the sentence, causing her to look up at me sympathetically, but I shook my head in response. "I've always been the latter, my ex made me the other two. Onika, I'm not one to pretend to be in love with someone. I love hard and I fall fast. I've only been in love once before you. I was so in love with that girl, I did everything I could to make her happy, and as a young college athlete I couldn't do a lot. But I made it up to her every single time. I gave that girl the world and all she did was crumple it up and throw it away. After everything, she cheated on me. She slept with some guy in our apartment. In the bed we shared. I found them together and all it took was for her to tell him that she loved him for me to die a little bit inside."
