Raven's Song

He Was Good

I sat in my dad's office at the station, staring down at the envelope he'd handed me twenty minutes ago. The detectives had already gone through my phone and laptop and read the letter, but I had already known they wouldn't find anything. Tylor had simply vanished. They'd questioned me. My dad. My friends. Tylor's siblings. His aunt. No one had heard anything from him, and his phone records confirmed it. The only thing he'd left as a sign he'd ever been in my house was the letter. It'd been sitting on my bed when Alec and I had gotten home. I'd immediately called my father with Alec as a witness that I had not tampered with the letter.

Now, I sat in the empty office with a copy of it. People were running around the station and making calls or heading out to respond to tips. The search for Tylor was not to recover a missing person. It was to find a suspect in an ongoing investigation. He was their main source of intel, but his disappearance put it in jeopardy. If he hadn't left the damn letter, he wouldn't be under such suspicion.

I swallowed hard and unfolded the letter.

Kenna,

To begin, I wish for whoever reads this letter before Kenna to know that she knows nothing, absolutely nothing, about my whereabouts. She knows nothing of my father's affairs. She was merely a girl I was partnered with in science class who happened to take a chance on me.

Now that that's out of the way...

Kenna, I want you to know that my leaving has nothing to do with you. I'm sure you're analyzing every encounter we've ever had to see where you missed something, but I want you to know that no matter what you did, I had to leave. As long as I am closely associated with you, you will be in danger. I don't know how long it will be before we're able to safely be in the same place, but I know we will be one day. It may not be in the same capacity as we were before I left, but I hope we will at least be friends. We've gone through too much shit to not be that.

I vowed not to let anyone have the same fate as my mother or Tessa, and I fear being with you will do just that. If not to you, then potentially to someone in your family or friend group. I can't be responsible for that. I just can't. It's a burden I'm not willing to bear when I can do something about it. You're going to be just fine. You're strong, my little scrapper. I pity the person who tries to fuck with you.

Please go and live, Kenna. I know I've told you that before, but I want you to believe it. You have a large heart that causes you to put others before you, and while I don't want you to ever lose that part of yourself, I wish for you to discover the part of yourself that is a little bit selfish. Life is hard. You have to be a little selfish to protect yourself. People will take advantage of someone they view as being weak. You are far from weak. You are one of the strongest people I have ever met. Believe in yourself. Take care of yourself. Once you do that for yourself, you can start doing it for others. In case you forget it, I want you to come back to this line. Hell, I'll even underline it for you: You've got this. Fuck anyone who thinks you don't. Believe those words and go kick ass at whatever you decide to do in life.

As for me, you don't need to worry about me. I've been in Hell since I was born, so I'm pretty used to taking care of myself. I'll be okay in the end. There are some things I need to take care of before I can safely be with you. I'm not expecting you to not move on, Kenna. I want you to do exactly that. Forget about me. Forget about what we went through. Live life without fear because you have nothing to fear. I'll always be protecting you whether you can see me or not. I will not allow anyone to harm you or anyone you love. You've protected people for so long. It's time you let someone else do it.

I do have one request. Don't go back to Branson. It's not where you belong. You're better than those snobs, and the people who will have your back are not there. If they were, they would have been the ones ready to bust down the cabin doors to save you.