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Regrets forms a jagged back in my stomach as I watch her walking back to her house without a word. Even though no one is in sight, shame soaks my skin and frustration eats over me.
Obviously, she does not just hate me. She has not forgiven me yet and I doubt if she will someday. She is finding it so hard for me to keep up with the pretence, and for the very first time since we met, I am beginning to feel scared of her coming out clean to tell me she is indeed Jisoo.
If she confesses, how do I apologise? How can I explain myself? How do I tell her how much vacuum has been left since her disappearance?
Will she even allow he to speak? Will she want to hear me out? Will she ever forgive and forget?
Is it necessary to involve my mother?
I am shaking my head at the thought of my mother's interference when a tiny voice pulls me out of my thoughts.
"Hi uncle!" The first thing that reaches my eyes is the tiny fingers waving at me. With realisation dawning on me, I open the car door quickly and step out with a huge smile on my face.
"Hey beauty!" I mutter squatting down to her height and placing a hand on her shoulder. "How are you?"
"I am fine. Mommy said not to call you, I'm sorry." Elsa apologise innocently, making me realise that Jisoo doesn't know she is out here with me.
"It's fine." I say, still smiling as I stare closely at her. Her eyes, there looks just like mine. Staring closely at her makes my smile widen as I begin to note the similarities between us and the possibility of being her father.
I know I am not supposed to take my mother's word seriously. That woman ought to be a financial character. She acts like one. But I can't help it. Elsa has my eyes, and the hair too. It's brown just like mine. She shares my round-full nose and her cute round cheeks.
She is going to be one beautiful damsel.
Suddenly, I remember the ice cream she mentioned so I rise up quickly and digging my head back into the car to grab the ice cream cup. Stretching it at her, she takes it with an excited grin on her face.
"Thank you so much, uncle."
"You are welcome, cutie." Even though i should tell her to return inside before her mommy starts looking for her, I find myself squatting back to her height. I want to spend more time with her. I want to talk to her. Ask her questions and get answers.
A sense of bride fills my soul, suddenly mixed with more regrets. That one night must have led to this. Jisoo and I only had sex for one night. If mother is right, then it means she conceived after that.
"I think I should go back inside." Elsa said instantly, pulling me out of my reverie. "I sneaked out just to meet you, so you wouldn't be angry with me." She said as I nod in understanding.
