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It wasn't in my intention to reveal how I feel about her now. In fact, I had no specific time in mind to tell her.
So l am relieved that it is out now. Friendship is not what I want. She needs to know how much she means to me and why I can't sit still watching another man who doesn't deserve her one bit take her away.
I know I don't deserve her either, but Yuta shouldn't be an option. I know she might never accept my feelings because of our past, but I still want her to know.
"I love you, jisoo. I have always loved you without realizing it. Letting you go made me realize how much you mean to me, and how stupid I was to have realized what we had. I know this might be hard to believe or accept, but it's the truth. I don't deserve you, and neither does that Yuta. But I promise I will never hurt you again if you can give me a chance to prove myself to you."
Her back is still with me. She is looking up and down, unsure of how to face me, or perhaps she has no idea what to say. At least there is a tiny bit of hope in me that those feelings from our marriage will remain.
Before another man took her away from me, I had to let it out. She should know. If l didn't say it, she would never know.
"I had my man check on him. Yuta is into the production of weapons for the Nakomoto family. I don't know if you know what that means, but it simply means he is a bad man. He is obviously well-to-do, but his business is not a clean one. The Nakomoto family are the most dangerous men to cross paths with here. He doesn't reveal that side of himself, and it's unlikely that Taeyong is aware of it either. I wouldn't mind if he went after you. I didn't even know him from anywhere until that night. Believe me, I am not making this up, but I had to do what I did to protect you from falling into the wrong hands..."
"...again just like when I fell into the wrong hands eight years ago." Slowly, she whirls around, and our eyes meet.
"You don't want me to make the same mistake twice, right? Sure, advice is accepted and appreciated. Can I go now?" I shake my head and rush forward to grab her, but she moves away, like my touch will hurt her.
"l just said I loved you now. Didn't you hear that part?" She looks puzzled.
"When did you? If I remember clearly, you never said that to me throughout our three years of marriage."
I closed my eyes again, remorse washing through me.
"Yes, I never did, and that was for a reason, Jisoo. I swear to God, I was already falling in love with you..."
"Oh, cut the crap, man. You just told me this, so I don't have to accept Yuta. No problem. Yuta might be a bad man, but I am sure another man won't, right?"
"Jisoo, listen to me. I loved you, but I kept it to myself because of her." I shut my eyes again in shame.
"Her? You mean your mistress Joy?" She smirks, mischief dancing around her eyes.
