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Despite the anger shimmering inside of me, I let it out, watching his face devoid of emotion turn to face me with shock. He suddenly leans back like someone who just had an attack, making me wonder if I was wrong when I thought he was going to sigh in total relief.
Determined to get it all out, I continue painstakingly. "Before the divorce, I was pregnant with her. I knew...I found out that night and I was on my way to inform you about the news when I heard you speaking with her. I decided I wasn't going to act as if I heard you clearly cheating on me..."
"l didn't cheat.." I raise a hand to cut him short
"I am not done!" I said not looking at him, out of fear of what I would do to him, considering how much pain and ache l am feeling as the memories rush in like a wave of the ocean.
"When I entered the room, you asked me if I received the papers, like it was something consensual. Something we both wanted. Something we both knew about beforehand. I asked what papers, keeping aside my intention to reveal the news about our child. You blurted out with confidence that it was the divorce papers. I couldn't tell you about my pregnancy. How could I? Telling you I was pregnant with your seed growing inside of me when I came to know the feelings weren't mutual was apparently a way of tying you down. It would be like an excuse for you not to divorce me anymore." I sob, breathing heavily and pushing back the choking tide of panic uprising in my chest.
I don't want to break down. I need to let it out. It is either now or never.
"You know I felt unwanted. Clearly, I was. We were married for three years, and it never occurred to me that my husband was not and would never love me. We were married for three years, and the only gift you could give me was the divorce papers, simply because your lover was back. How could you?!" I raise my voice and meet his gaze. Filled with rage, I stand up and walk closer to him, bending down to his height.
"How could you, jungkook? You ridiculed me. You made me homeless, and become a single mother. You knew my weaknesses, and you used that against me. You left me on the sidewalk of life after I had walked with you all the way. You made me believe you were beginning to fall head over heels in love with me until you slept with me, and then boom, a divorce!"
As I finish my sentence, suddenly he grabs my face. His eyes are also brimming with fresh tears "No, Jisoo. No, please don't do this. I didn't do that. I didn't cheat..."
"You did it, you jerk!" I hit my hand against his chest, uncaring about his state. My rage was building bit by bit, and now I have no control over it as I continue to slam my fist on his chest.
"You cheated on me. You sent me out and here you are begging for forgiveness?"
He grabs my hand firmly. “Jisoo, listen to me! I swear I didn't!"
Tired of crying, I slump to the floor, feeling pathetic for crying after vowing not to show him this side of me. I am not interested in listening to anything he wants to say. I only came here to say that Elsa was his child, and there was no way I could do that without admitting that I was Jisoo. The truth is out. Relieved, I try to stand up, but Jungkook holds me back down, surprising me with his strength.
