The Easiest Target

She's A Good Person

Adam attacks me with questions and demands. I'm still too dizzy and breathless to reply. My head is pounding from the impact. I get up and he gets me a seat by the pool. I stare down at my right hand, curling my fingers weakly. I've never considered myself a weak person. Now all I can feel is myself constantly fading.

I need help. I need relief. Something like lava burns up to my throat. By now I know that whatever is wrong, it isn't hunger.

I run to the farthest corner I can and throw up into a bush, my body trembling from the newest betrayal I'm faced with: Adam. He doesn't care about anyone but himself. Here he is, partying with his friends while I'm forced along with Azan's every whim and demand. I shove his hand away when he offers to help me, my anger swelling.

This is his fault! THIS IS HIS FAULT!

If he didn't run away, Mama and Baba wouldn't have gotten me married to Azan. They wouldn't have tried to get rid of me because of the fear that I would run away at eighteen and tarnish their family name.

I always have to pay for his mistakes because I'm the oldest girl in the family. I am responsible for his immaturity by default! Adam burned himself trying to cook? Why didn't you make it for him, Hadeel? Adam bleached the dark clothes trying to do laundry? Why was he doing laundry, Hadeel? That's your job! Adam turned eighteen and ran away? Why didn't you stop him, Hadeel? You're the calm one. The responsible one! Why didn't you tell us? Are you going to run away and be a whore next?

I can't do this anymore. I can't breathe anymore! Adam tries to touch me and I shove him back with a scream, tears stinging my eyes. I actually worried about him for months. I worried he wouldn't have anything to eat. I worried he would be out on the streets! But he's fine. He's happy.

I'm the only one suffering!

Adam tries to touch me again and I tackle him with all of my weight, knocking him off his feet. I slam my cast into his face and punch him with my right fist until blood spurts from his nose and I keep going despite how scared I am of blood. An arm wraps around my waist and rips me off him. I kick out and scream as I'm moved away from him. I claw at the arm restraining me, hiding me from the cameras all around with a heavy sweater.

When he puts me down and I turn around and see who it is, my anger rekindles. Tokyo asks me why I'm here, his eyes wide as he holds his hoodie over me.

"You did this," I snarl. "This is all your fault! ALL OF IT!"

"Hadeel," he whispers, his eyes rounding and filling with hurt only I can see the depth to. Because I used to see it daily when I was barely old enough to know what it was. My heart begins to crumble, my anger melting into despair at how unfair he is. Why give me that look after all he said to Azan about me? He did this to me.

"What did I ever do to you?" I whisper, exasperated. "Why would you do this to me after all I did for you?"

He opens his mouth but nothing comes out, his arms raising towards me.

"WHY ARE YOU HERE?!" Adam shouts, stumbling over, shoving Toki away.

"I brought her," Azan answers before I can, shoving through the crowd gathering around us. He steps between me and Tokyo and I'm relieved to have someone to hide behind. "Who the hell are you?" he glowers at Adam.

"Are you good, dumbass? I'm her brother!" Adam snaps. "My parents let you bring her?!" He tries to talk around Azan and asks if I ran away. The question stings like millions of pins in my ears. I feel a crushing guilt swell in me. I had considered the option of running away before. It's gone now: I can never allow my siblings to hate me the way I hate Adam right now.