The Easiest Target

Everything To Me

I know it doesn't make any sense. Everyone knows. It hurts even worse that I don't have the confidence to accept his feelings. I don't want it. Athan is my husband now and until I'm legally frikin eighteen, I can't make any decisions for myself.

Either way, they're both attractive guys that have probably slept with too many girls to count. Am I just another girl on that list? I don't want to be involved with guys like this.

Tokyo stands against the wall a couple of feet from me and takes a while to speak.

"I was scared your parents were abusing you like we —" He clamps up, biting his lips. I look at him and he bites the inside of his cheeks for a while. Was he abused by his parents? "I need you to understand that all I ever wanted was to be there for you, Hadeel. Always."

"I'm sorry, Toki," I manage to say, my throat knotted. "I have nothing to give you."

He shakes his head and stares at the row of gray lockers across the room, blinking back tears. "You should know that you're right: you're nothing like the girls Azan's dated."

What the hell does that mean? Is he calling me ugly?

"You're talented and funny and nice and honest and — your everything anyone could ever ask for in a best friend, in a partner — in a wife. You're everything to me." His Adam's apple bobs and he stands up straight. He gives a frustrated laugh. "You thought I hated you all this time?"

I don't even want to believe this. It can all be a lie. But what would he get out of this? "You bullied me ...."

He walks away to find composure. All the times he would join me in the library randomly and act like nothing changed between us — it shredded me up inside every time. He thought I knew he was bullying me for show? He thought I would be okay with something so ridiculous?

"I'm so sorry, Hadeel," he whispers once he finds his voice again. "I thought that was why you didn't look like you hated me. I forgot how naturally forgiving you are — I hate that about you."

I blink and a tear rolls down my cheek, betraying me. I ball my fists tiredly. "I was okay with it if it made you happy ...."

"It's not okay. It was never okay. I trusted Adam to protect you all of these years! He made me look like the bad guy the whole time!" He shrugs his shoulders up high. "He never even told me he left you with your parents a year ago. He abandoned you and kept telling me you were fine the whole time. He hasn't seen you in months, has he?!" he demands. I shake my head grimly. "I'll never forgive him."

That makes two of us.

"My family isn't as bad as you think they are," I reassure.

He raises his eyebrows high. "They married you off without telling you."

I open my mouth to object and shut it. "Touche," I whisper. "Athan's a pretty good liar with very trusting eyes and they're exceptionally gullible. Like others I know," I raise my eyebrows at him.

He sinks to a squat, hanging his head. "What do I do, Hadeel?" he groans into his knees. "So much of who I am ... is you. I can't smile without thinking about you. What do I do?"

I clench my jaw and join him in a squat against the same wall but a few feet away. He folds his arms over his knees and looks at me through his long, silky bangs. Even as far as I am, I see his pupils dilate and my face burns red because even if he was lying to me, his body can't lie. As equally nervous and weightless as his words make me, it makes my heart heavy with despair and hopelessness because I am married to Athan.