the puppeteer (a.f.i)

0.4

Finn left me on that bridge.

He left me on that bridge to think.

To ponder.

To contemplate.

And to reflect.

He left me on the bridge to consider everything I had done. He tried helping me to get out of the state I was in.

But it didn't work.

I still felt as if I had killed her. I still felt like I had killed that girl.

I stared at the water below wondering if I should jump. Wondering is my life was worth to live.

Hers was more important than mine.

I was just some jerk who played football. High school being my peaking moment of my life, and then the rest of my life would just be working at a gas station, because that's all I could do.

But she had things going for her. She actually had a purpose for living, she could provide to society.

But now she'll never have the chance to do so.

All because of my fucking stupid ass.

I placed my hands on the railing of the bridge, and let my hair fall over my eyes. I took in a breath and prepared to jump.

I tried lifting myself over, but I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to do what I knew I deserved. I just couldn't do it.

And I hated that.

I hated myself for not being able to do it.

I felt tears starting to run down my face, dripping into the water I should be in below.

I turn away from the railing and let my back slide down the side, sitting down on the wet ground. I placed my head in my hands, letting myself cry and cry.

What was wrong with me?

Why did I do this? I don't deserve to live. I heard the steps of someone coming towards me. I looked at the feet of the person, they were wearing Dr. Martens that seemed pretty beaten up.

"You didn't even know her, why are you so depressed about this?" I heard the voice say, a girls voice.

Not looking up I said, still shaking and crying, "I fucking killed her."