SARAUNIYYA: Heartstrings

Chapter 4

Fatima-Zarah and I had pizza for dinner later that evening. I figured she'd need a break after the stunt Yahaya had pulled at Zainab's studio, and so I thought it a great idea that we de-stress over takeout pizza in the comfort of our dorm room.

"I'm not taking him back, I mean it this time," Fatima-Zarah said affirmingly, chomping down a mouthful of Domino's as she did. I nodded my head, my mouth full of pizza as well.

I'd long awaited this day, the day that Yahaya and Fatima-Zarah become fully separated.

"I'm actually shocked that you're standing on business this time, you know?" I replied, sipping my Coke lightly before biting off some more pizza to chew. "Yau ne farkon da ki na tsayyan a kan maganan ki with this Yahaya talk, na ma sha mamaki, wallahi."

The room fell silent after that, and I noticed Fatima-Zarah's facial expression go dull.

"Faati, what's the problem?" I asked. I wondered if it was something I'd just said that caused the sudden change in her mood.

"Yahaya doesn't treat me with respect, he never has. Yet, it's like everybody always expects me to still take him back like I'm his worthless little bitch." She blurted, emotionlessly. "Like nobody takes me seriously when I say I'm over him, not even you." I shook my head in disagreement, but she didn't even look towards me. I felt my heart sink.

"Haba Faati..." I started, but just then she interrupted me and continued to speak.

"It's alright really, it's my fault anyway." She said, "I let it get this far by giving him too many chances. I shouldn't have ever let it get this far."

I stopped to think for a minute before speaking again, as I wasn't exactly sure what to say next without further upsetting my friend. Fatima-Zarah was right, yes. I didn't take her too seriously every new time that she declared that she was done with Yahaya, but her reason for why I didn't was far from the truth. I prepared to speak again.

"You have such a beautiful heart, you know?" I started, reaching out to place my left hand on hers as I spoke. "I've never for once in my life thought that these boys deserved you, not even my brother, Abdussamad."

"Abdussamad was a good guy, he was just young at the time, and undecided. I think that's a thing with all growing men." She said, disagreeing with me about my brother. "It was just a bad time for us, I guess, I don't think it's fair to blame him."

Hearing her vouch for my brother made me scoff and roll my eyes, she chuckled in response.

"Regardless of that, though. You loved him, you truly did. And that was why you never gave up on him, time after time." I continued. Fatima-Zarah listened keenly. "It's the same story with Yahaya. I know how you get when you love -you tend to always see the best in the people that you love, even when they can't always be that for you."

I moved to take another light sip of my Coke before speaking again.

"But to me, you deserve more, way more. You deserve a man who is secure enough to love you properly -to love you in the ways that a woman as beautiful and as valuable as you should be loved." I finished. Fatima-Zarah's dull face had turned brighter now, and she was wearing a smile.

"You know, it's easier for you to see through everything from the outside because you're not the one in love." She teased me. "It's harder for the rest of us, trust me."

We laughed together, and as we did, I felt my nostrils pick up the scent of Fatima-Zarah's perfume, and for some reason, I became reminded of Imran.

"Oh, and I almost forgot, we haven't even talked about Mr White Shirt." I blurted, my eyes widened as the memory of him jolted back into my mind.