Can I Lean On You | Finley & Harlyn #2

Chapter 1

Harlyn

"God, El, how many shoes do you own?"

Elly pouts at me. "Hey, you promised you wouldn't give me a hard time about my wardrobe while helping me pack."

I put my hands up in surrender. "Sorry. Just been a while since I was up close and personal with your shoe collection, that's all."

"That's true. You didn't help me move off campus last term."

My breathing stutters. I didn't help her move off campus last term, because, at the time, we weren't speaking. I came out to her as bisexual. Well, I told her I was kind of sort of dating my now-boyfriend Finley in what was probably the most awkward way ever - by lamely grabbing Finley's hand and letting her draw her own conclusions. And, well, she reacted in a totally understandable, if not entirely gracious, way by leaving and not talking to me for two long weeks. We made up, had a good long talk, and I like to think our friendship is even stronger now, four months later. But it still hurts to think about.

I decide to change the subject to why I'm here now, helping her pack to move once again. "You ready for this?"

"I was born ready, babes," she assures me, carefully piling old school trophies and binders full of pictures and mementos from her childhood into a plastic bin. This isn't just another move into her University of Kent hall for the term. She won't be moving back to her dad's house, at least not for the foreseeable future. She's moving into a flat with her two friends and, not-so-coincidentally, Finley. "I still wish you were moving with me, but I'm ready."

"El..." You think she'd be tired of pressing this, but apparently not.

"I'm sorry. I'll stop. At least I have Finley. I can be pretty sure you'll be over a lot." She cocks a haughty eyebrow at me.

"I can't really argue with that," I chuckle.

"Mmhm," Elly hums. "You excited to see him? Only a couple weeks, right?"

A swirl of nerves and excitement pools in my stomach. Finley and I met when he was studying here last term. But he's from the States, and I haven't seen him in over four months. We didn't have a whole lot of time together while he was here. I was figuring out new feelings and not ready to tell the world yet. Most of our early relationship was spent secretly meeting up at one of our houses, and even after his best friend, Max, found out and I came out to Elly and my parents, we never had a proper date. We didn't have time before he went home. Don't get me wrong, we spent a lot of time together, kissing and cuddling and just being near each other, often with Max and Elly. But a "let's get dinner and see a movie and kiss goodnight when I drop you off at home" kind of date? Not yet.

That's where the excitement comes in. I'm so ridiculously excited to see him again, hold him, kiss him, take him on a real date where everyone can see me holding his hand. Video calling and texting just aren't the same. When he found out he'd been accepted to Canterbury Christ Church University - the final yes he needed to move back to England - we both cried. And we're counting down the days until he gets here - just fourteen now.

But I'm also ridiculously nervous. It's been over four months. That isn't long, but it feels like a lifetime. And a lot has happened. I've changed. And Finley has. Not a lot, I don't think. But I've never done this before - long-distance, reuniting, a relationship that's lasted this long, a relationship with a guy. How do I know Finley still wants me? How do I tell him I love him? How do I do...any of this?

"Yeah, I am," I say, tucking the last of Elly's shoes in my bin.

Elly hums. "That didn't sound convincing."

"No, I am. I am. Just nervous, too." Before Elly can ask anything further, I say, "This bin is done. I'm going to take it to the car."

"This is not the end of this conversation!" Elly calls after me as I leave her room.