Can I Lean On You | Finley & Harlyn #2

Chapter 15

Harlyn

I'm avoiding Finley. And Mum. And Elly. Everyone. I'm avoiding everyone. It's been three days since The Incident at work, and I haven't talked to anyone about it. Finley's had work the last few days so I've had an excuse to not go over even though it's the weekend, my days off, and when we usually have the most time to hang out or go out. I know he told Elly at least partially what happened because she keeps texting me asking if I'm alright. They both do. And I keep saying that I am.

I'm lying.

Mum and Dad don't know what happened, but I know they know something happened. I was a wreck when I got home from work that afternoon. Mum didn't ask. I didn't give her a chance. They've both been giving me strange looks all weekend. I just smile and hide in my room.

I'm lying to them too.

I hate that I'm lying to everyone. I hate that I'm avoiding everyone. I just...I don't know what is going on in my head. And I know what Finley would say. He'd tell me to take my time. Or just talk until it makes sense. Until something useful comes out. But this feels different.

Brandon and Hannah weren't outright homophobic or nasty. They didn't use slurs. They were just...ignorant. Asking if being bi and gay are the same. Saying I don't "look" gay, but Finley does. The pose he struck.

I have a feeling if Finley hadn't pulled me away from where I was frozen after my initial bravery flew out the window, they would have gotten nasty. So, some of my fear is that it could have been so much worse. But Finley didn't let that happen.

God, why did I come out to them of all people? They would've found out sooner or later. And I really did not want them to think Finley and I are just mates. But did it really have to happen like that? I know logically that that's how it kind of had to happen. There aren't many other reasons Finley would come up at work. I guess I just wasn't prepared.

That much was obvious by how I shut down as soon as Brandon started in on his jabs. I couldn't think of a single thing to say. I've been lucky so far with the people I've come out to. Other than a tiny bit of awkwardness with Nan and a few weird comments on our social media posts a few months ago, everyone I've outright told has been so supportive. So, it would make sense to not know how to handle this situation, right?

But then...I think about everything Finley's been through. I know I shouldn't compare my hard to other people's hard. But Finley's own parents haven't completely accepted that part of him. Compared to that, I can deal with a couple of coworkers that I don't even like very much and don't spend much time with even at work.

I was able to avoid them at work on Friday because they worked in the morning, and I worked in the afternoon. But I don't know how long I'll get lucky. Will I have the courage to say something? Will they say something?

All of this has been swirling in my brain for the last three days. And I know I'm stuffing it away without processing it fully. I've been trying to be better at that. But this is just... I don't know where to start. And I wouldn't know where to start talking to Finley about it, even though I know he'd listen to my jumbled thoughts for hours.

The thing is, I can't avoid everyone forever. It's Sunday so that means family dinner with Mum and Dad, and I'm fairly certain Mum will ask what's been up. Even if she doesn't press, I know I should at least tell her what happened. And tomorrow is Halloween, and Finley and I made plans with the girls and Fran's boyfriend to dress up and go to Club Chemistry for their Halloween celebrations. I can't skip that.

As I think about that, sitting in bed with music blaring in my headphones, I get a text from Finley.