Enmu X Muzan

Pain

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Muzan POV

I wake up with a quiet groan as I stretch a little and slowly open my eyes, getting used to the pain of "mornings".

I look down on Enmu sleeping peacefully, clinging tightly to my body. The sight forms a small smile on my face.

Oh...

It fades right away as I recall yesterday, all the pictures I saw of him through his mind flooding my brain, like a fucking hard kick in the stomach.

I hug him a little tighter and gently kiss the top of his head he snuggled in my chest. A tear starts forming in my eyes, and surprisingly, I barely notice. It normally would make me feel weak. But somehow, it's all different this time. It feels safe. And okay.

With a sigh, I fall deep in thought.

What am I going to say when he wakes up? What can I possibly do to make him feel better after everything that just fell on him?

Should I be empathic and adapt to his mood? Or should I try to make him laugh?

What on Earth could comfort him? Is there a way I could make him understand that no one will ever hurt him again, that he's safe around me, that he has absolutely nothing to be afraid of?

Just how shoud I do that?

I imagine thousands of ways to help him, and with every single one, thousands of ways he could react.

I'm so worried about him, I can't even comprehend it. So much that it hurts.

~

Hours passed with my brainstorm.

I look down on Enmu again. This time, the sight of him, still sleeping makes me tear up.

Because I can see all the pictures in front of me from his past, all the pain he went through, and I just don't have a fucking clue on how to react.

Not because I don't care, or because I don't know him well enough to help him cope from memories of things I don't even want to name, because the simple thought of it happening to Enmu makes me want to scream, cry and just kill something.

Just because there are so many emotions building up inside me, that I can't name. Emotions that probably don't even exist, emotions I have never felt before, and that confuses me.

As another amount of time has passed, I get snapped out of my thoughts by Enmu moving around and making little noises next to me.

He slowly gains consciousness, and as he manages to open his eyes, he drives them straight up to mine.

He doesn't look very well, but as expected, he's trying his best to hide it.

"Hi~" I greet him with a soft smile as I gently rub the back of his head.

"Hey" he whines back, and as yesterday's events start to weigh on him, his smile fades, little by little.

"How are you?"

"I'm...fine... I think..." he aswers with a deep breath, his eyes still tired.

I know he's not, I can read his thoughts, but I don't want to bother him with that right now.

He lays back down with his eyes closed. I plant a small kiss on his head, which makes him smile a little.

A few minutes in, he's asleep again.

That's what he'll spend the day with, probably. And I want to spend mine laying next to him. But I have tons of work.

That sounds awfully selfish.

By that thought even coming up in my brain, I just want to stay in bed more, to make up for my mistake of thinking about it.

But I really do have tons of work... To keep up my cover... I'm doing this for a  good purpose!

As I keep telling myself that, I gently lift his head to free my arm, then quietly leave the bedroom, heading to my office.

~

Not even halway done with the paperwork, I got eaten up by concern.

I know Enmu is asleep, but still I just desperately want to check on him, to see if everything was okay, if he's feeling comfortable.

I get up from my desk and rush to the bedroom, then as quietly as I can, I open the dooor to peek in.

Seeing him still sleeping I feel kind of embarrassed by overdramatizing it.

Cursing myself, I slowly walk back to my desk.

I will have to get used to it; I think to myself as I sit down; That it's a pain in the ass to love someone.

~

After I finish signing some more papers, that seem to never end (idk what kinda work he would do so), I notice Enmu woke up.

I walk to the bedroom and open the door again, less careful this time, knowing he's awake.

He doesn't react, just stares blankly in front of himself.

Seeing him that way, and knowing what kind of thoughts are dancing around in his head, I feel a strong pain striking in my chest.

I insecurely walk up to the bed and get in next to him, hugging him tightly from the back, burying my face in his hair.

I don't know what to say.

I don't have words that could make up for his past.

"I love you"

That's all I can say, hoping it's not too little.

He slowly slides his hand up to mine, intertwining our fingers with a tight squeeze.

"I love you too"

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SLAY I DID IT GUYS I WROTE A CHAPTER

Im soooooooiooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooiiiooooooooo sorry this took so fckin long idk what happenedddd 😭😭😭

but Im backkkkk 💪💪 and i hope u guys like itttt🫶