behind the lens | changbin s.

20 : ill never stop loving you

✧*̥˚ i'll never stop loving you*̥˚

» [ keep on loving you ] «
cigarettes after sex
0:58 ─〇───── 3:53
⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

It's been a few weeks since everything blew up. The constant storm of hate has finally died down, leaving behind a quieter but still present hum of negativity. There are still people out there, hiding behind their screens, who can't seem to let it go. But at the same time, there's an overwhelming amount of support—more than I ever expected.

The fan accounts, the messages, the posts, all reminding me that I'm not alone. For every cruel comment, there are five more lifting me up, reminding me why I fell in love with this community in the first place. It's strange how the balance has shifted. I don't feel as helpless anymore, though the scars from those early days are still there, buried under layers of determination and Changbin's constant, unwavering support.

I've learned how to deal with the press too. They're always hungry for a story, always ready to ask about the drama. At first, I used to freeze up, worried I'd say the wrong thing. But now, it's easier to handle. A small smile, a polite response—deflect, move on. They're only doing their job, after all, but I refuse to let them get under my skin.

The other members have been incredible throughout all of this. I think, in their own way, they've each tried to show me that I'm a part of their family now, not just Changbin's girlfriend, but someone they care about too.

Bang Chan has always been the most understanding. He's like that with everyone—always aware, always ready to step in when someone needs him. After everything went down, he started checking in with me constantly, not in an overbearing way, but just enough to make sure I didn't feel alone. He's good at making people feel like they're seen, and every time he would drop by with snacks or ask if I wanted to join him in the studio, it reminded me that I wasn't as isolated as I sometimes felt.

"Hey, if you need to talk, I'm here," he'd say, his voice soft and reassuring. "Or, you know, if you don't want to talk, we can just hang out. No pressure."

It was the little things, the quiet moments when he'd pull me into conversations with the others or crack a joke to lighten the mood. He never made a big deal out of it, but I knew he was keeping an eye on me, making sure I was okay.

Felix, on the other hand, was all about comfort. He has this warmth about him that just makes you feel better, no matter what's going on. After I started getting overwhelmed with everything, he started bringing over his homemade brownies and muffins, just casually leaving them on the counter with a note, pretending like he didn't know I was struggling. It was his way of showing he cared without saying too much.

"You don't have to eat them all," he'd say with a laugh, even though he knew I'd probably finish them by the end of the day. "But... they're there if you need them."