I can't seem to get It out of my head that the feeling of love has left me but yet my eyes find a way to look for someone new who needs my help and I can't say no. In fact I've never been able to say no in my life. Not when my rabbit died. Not when my house burnt down. Not when I got emotionally abused by my step dad for years. Not when my ex was all over me and it hurt. Not when my friends left me.
I'm not in control of anything in my life isn't that funny?
I guess I'm the actual loser in this stupid fucked up world. I can't win.
I will always and forever be forced to swallow defeat no matter how great I try to be. My efforts all go to shit and nothing will ever work out for me. I can't ever get a moment to breathe my only purpose is to hold onto the shards of glass that were left from my broken memory and mental state trying to make it seem like I'm stable even though every bone in my body shakes with hurt I will always be "okay" but never ever will I be "better" I've never been better I've always been in last place and that is where I'm forced to stand. If I stand out I'm a freak and if I fit in I'm average. There is no wins for me in this life only the same old burning pain that shakes my entire body with anxiety or sadness that is all I know how to express anymore. Writing is my only escape from this stupid reality where I'm forced to pin my eyes open and stare at the fact I will never be right no matter how much I justify the side I'm on.
YOU ARE READING
my life??
Non-Fictionhey! this is a story about me! the authors side of what happens cause I'm slowly going insane and have nothing to be able to do to get my emotions out 🙂👍 anyways!!! if you read this thx! if not that's okay too! also ((massive tw))
