Max Dose What? (maxley)

#8 Max pov~♡

                                                ⚠️ANGST⚠️

I did it. I got Bradley's number and he has mine, I don't know why it has taken me this long to get it but nevermind it. I have it now and that's all that matters. I feel my face hurt from smiling and I only just realise I'm smiling like a weirdo and I snap out of it. I spot Bobby and Pj and I catch up to them.

"Hey guys" I say to them as i shove the sticky note with brads number on it into my pocket

"Heyyyy max-amillion" Bobby says "what took you so long man?" He asks with a curious look in his eye

"Nothing much just wanted to finish making sure I got my notes right" I say hoping that will satisfy his curiosity

"Alright dude if you say soo~" Bobby says spinning around on his heal and placing his arms behind his neck

"You sure I noticed Bradley was still in there, he didn't pick on you again right?" Pj adds in

"No he didn't" i say if only they knew what me and brad were but I'm still too scared of how'd they react I need them to realise he's not so bad first

"You certain? You know how Bradley is he's arrogant two faced and manipulative I find it hard to believe you two were in there and he didn't say anything to you" pj continues

Dammit I don't think they'll ever think differently of Bradley... before I can say anything Bobby adds in

"Yeah man, Bradley is the type of dude who'd acts nice at first but as soon as your no long useful he'll throw you to the side and forget you exist" he says while walking in a circle around me

Was that really gonna happen? Would Bradley really discard me and abandoned me as soon as I'm no longer useful to him? Am I just a game to him a toy for him to use for his own enjoyment... oh shit I'm over thinking again I need to calm down

"Dude you okay?" Bobby asks clearly my over thinking had made me anxious and it was shown on my face

"I'm fine" I say trying to push down my worry "seriously I'm fine" I add when Bobby and Pj give me this 'are you sure' look

"If you say so" Pj says

"You know we are only looking out for you man" Bobby adds and They turn to keep walking

I just look at the ground and keep following them Bobby is talking about getting pizza latter to Pj and I just can't be bothered to join the conversation I'm to busy trying not to over think things. Yes me and Bradley kinda rushed into this relationship but that's okay. He loves me and I love him back, at least I think he loves me he does right? He wouldn't use me? Would he?

After a while i arrived back at the dorm room Bobby and Pj went to go get pizzaso I'm alone with my thoughts. I can't stop thinking about if Bradley does truly care what if he's just using me to get popular again since I did win the X games omg he is isn't he? How could I be so stupid. With out realising I started crying and when I realised I tried wiping the tears away

"Come on come on, stop crying boys don't cry..." I say to myself "this is so embarrassing why am I such a crybaby..." I say while walking to the bathroom going to wash my face

I look in the mirror "heh mother would have been so disappointed if she had seen my piercings" I say my mother always thought men with piercings and tattoos looked like thugs and gangsters but then again she never really wanted me in the first place.

I hear the repate of my mother's last words to me in the back of my head "useless child" "Why did you have to be a boy" "you ruined me" "I wish I never had you" and I'm crying again fuck I hate it here why am I still here? Mother was right i am useless why was I born...

Without thinking I grab the razor and I start relapsing one cut two cut again again and again all whilst thinking I deserve this this is what I deserve I deserve pain... before I knew it my entire arm was covered in fresh cuts and then I realised... shit I have to hide these I quickly grab the first aid kit and wrap my arm up and pull the sleeves of my under shirt down I wince at the feel but push it aside.

I throw the razer in the bin and walk out of the bathroom like nothing happened. I tried to stop but I just couldn't... why am I like this I grab out my phone remembering i said I'd message Brad and I add his number to my contacts and I send him a message.

'Hey its me max :)' I type and send I then turn my phone of and place it down when I hear the door open Bobby and Pj are back and they have pizza.

(Heyyyyy so um yeah sorry I haven't updated in a while and sorry that this chapter is angst but this whole story is based of angst so I had to add it back in at some point and yeah hope you enjoyed 😉 and I did warn you at the beginning soooo)

(Oh yeah and max has mother issues if you want me to explain more on my AU please comment ill gladly do a whole chapter on my headcannons)