Kindness isn't always very kind

Chapter 5: Rayne

When I open my eyes I am in a plain room with nothing around me. But there's a girl sitting in a chair in front of me. She looks close to tears, an expression of pure terror on her face. Then I see that her wrist are tied to the arms of the chair and her ankles tied to the legs of the chair. Why she's tied up I have no idea. Then someone emerges from the blackness behind her.  I can't identify who they are or whether they are a male or a female. They grab a fistful of the girls hair and jerk her head back. She cries out to me for help and in pain.
"Please help me?" She sobs. I try to run forward but as I try, I can't move. There is nothing holding me back but I still can't move. The person behind her puts a knife to the hair line above her forehead. Oh, God. No! He drags the knife backwards, taking the hair with the skin with it. She screams out horrific pain. But I  still can't get to her. The person ever so slowly drags the knife down her arm. The knife getting deeper every inch it moves. Soon the six-inch blade is more than half way in her arm. Her screams never cease but they increase in volume.
"Its only a simulation." I remind myself. The invisible bonds holding me back, break and I rush forward to the girl and the cruel person behind her in an attempt to help. But as I reach them they vanish into the air. Gone in the dark. Suddenly the room begins to fade and a darkness falls around me. I feel around with my hands and try to find something, anything but there is nothing but the eternal darkness that has fallen around me. I don't feel the floor beneath me, I feel nothing at all and I can't even find my own hand in the inches in front of my face. "Hello?!" I call out knowing that I am alone and that there won't be an answer. I don't even hear an echo. Meaning there is nothing around me. No room. Just infinite space expanding to all inches of life. Seeming to grow darker with every lonely second. It feels like a lifetime until I remember that I am only in a simulation and that this is only in my head. Only something that the deep corners of my head have decided will scare me. I am not sure how to face this fear. I know that Amar said you can just calm down but I want the satisfaction of facing it head on. Its a stretch but, I scream out. As loud as I can without stopping and not holding anything back. My screams fill the emptiness of where I am secluded. As I scream, the darkness fades slowly into light, and the empty sound is replaced by the sound of a bullet clicking into the chamber of a gun. I feel the barrel pressed to the back of my skull. Finally the darkness has faded enough to scope out my surroundings. There is a table in front of me and on the table is a single object. One that I have never used in my life, the high people don't believe in such an object. A gun. Then I see him. My brother.  Why would my brother be here. Then the voice behind me speaks up.
"Shoot him." It takes me a few seconds to realize what she means. She wants me to use the gun on the table to shoot my own brother. How could I possibly shoot him? I love him.  I look down and somehow the gun appears in my hand, and my finger is hovering over the trigger. I look back to my brother, but its not my brother. Its my father. "Shoot. Him." The voice says more sternly, pushing the barrel harder into my skull. I bite my lip, like I always do when I'm nervous. I look back down to my hand holding the gun and take a deep breath. When I look back up Its both my brother and my father. My father has the same smiling, glossy eyes that he always has. Just like the other Amity people do. I look to my brother. He has his look of disappointment. 
"Why are you holding that, Stella? You are dishonoring you faction." He says to me, disapproval never leaving his face.
"My name is Rayne. And I'm Dauntless. But I can't kill you. But I can," I turn on my toes, (how I manage this I don't know) smack their hand that is holding the gun to my head with my hand which is holding my gun, their gun clatters to the floor, "kill you." and I pull the trigger. Not thinking twice. The fear vanishes. All of a sudden, I can't breathe. I attempt to take a breath but I can get no air. It is like someone is squeezing my throat, cutting off any source of air that I might get.I struggle to get any type of air that I can. But its no use. This is the only fear that I have no idea how to face. I collapse on the floor due to no air. Everything goes black. When I wake up, I am not in a chair like I thought I'd be. I'm not in the room where Amar was give the fear simulations. Instead I am in an Amity house. the polished wood walls, the pane-less windows, and my mother. I'm still in my fear sim. And she is one of my fears. She glares at me in the cruelest way. "Not everything can be peaceful, Stellarum. That's why I do this. To show you. This builds your character. Builds you up to be strong in ways no other can fathom." She nears me with a necklace. It is a necklace that has beads on it. Carved wooden beads with points in all directions. The one she wore every day no one having notice what she always used it for. I have scars in places anyone can see. If someone asks I say I fell out of a tree or I broke a coffee cup or anything but the truth. She nears me. Her are lifted above her head ready to strike me with the sharp beads. I cower back in fear. Try to calm down. slow your breathing. slow, slow, slow. The pain that I know so well never comes. Instead, the fear simulation ends and I wake up in the chair with Amar staring at me with a look complete shock. Like I had just outrun a lion in a zoo while on a pair of stilts. Completely odd but so was the look he gave me. He looked away muttering something about 'two' and 'same year'. utterly clueless, I ask him what he means and he shakes his head.
"How did you get free in the first fear you faced?" I remember back to the first fear. It was the one where I desperately wanted to help the girl but couldn't. Then I remember that at the end of the fear I was able to run to her only for her to disappear.
"I remembered that it was only a simulation. And that it wasn't real and nothing was really holding me back." He slowly nods his head in understanding. 
"Alright you are free to go now. You may leave out that door. Go." He points to a door that I hadn't noticed when I walked in. I silently leave the room and walk toward the dorms being that is the only place I remember to get to from here.