The Mafia's Girl

Chapter 12. The Talk

These last few weeks have been hard for me, talking about my past and my traumas isn't my idea of fun, but Mia has helped. Having her here makes things a bit easier, I know that she lied to me but I feel like I can trust her. She's been telling me about the troubles she has faced with Derek, how being with someone who has killed before and will again was definitely an adjustment. She told me that she loves him but hasn't told him yet, she wants him say it first, they're so cute together, you can tell that he loves her too.

I wonder if Cole and I will ever be like that, if we will ever get to experience love with each other. Mia has been keeping me updated with Cole's progress and I have to say Derek definitely has the harder job, apparently someone is more stubborn than I am, I didn't know that was possible. I know that deep down Cole is just in pain and needs someone to care about him, to love him, but he has built a wall so high that no one can climb over, not even me. I thought he would come after me the night I left but he didn't, he kept his distance from me and that made me question him much he actually loved me. But after hearing about the talks he and Derek have had I will never question it again.

"Annie, I have a question for you?" Mia asks me, "What?" I ask her, "Do you think you're ready to talk to Cole?" she asks hesitant. I freeze. I've thought about it but never in the sense that I would be doing it soon, it was always just a in the future thought, what would I even say to him? "I know it sounds scary, but talking to me will only do you so much good, you need to tell him how you feel" she says holding my hands in hers, fuck, she's right, the only way this gets solved is if I talk to him directly. "I guess talking wouldn't be so bad" I tell her. "Good, I'll organise it now" she says and then runs out of the room before I can stop her.

I'm sitting on the couch in my room when I hear a knock on the door, strange, Mia never knocked before, I get up anyway and head to the door opening it up wide about to greet Mia, when I lock eyes with the one person I have been trying to avoid, Cole. "Hey" he says looking anywhere but my eyes, "Hey" I reply not knowing what to say. "Do you want to come in?" I ask him and step aside, he just nods and comes in, I close the door and turn around to find him standing awkwardly in the centre of the room. Okay so it looks like i'm leading this conversation, got it.

"Did you want to sit?" I ask gesturing to the couch, he snaps out of his zoning out and takes a seat, I follow his actions, keeping a bit of distance to try and calm my nerves. I go to say something and he stops me, "Can I talk first?" he asks looking up at me, I nod at him giving him a small smile. He takes a deep breath in before speaking, "I first want to apologies form behaviour, I haven't been the nicest person to you, I've been a dick, I know that now and im truely sorry for the way I have made you feel. You're an amazing person Annabelle and I should have felt lucky to have you around, but instead I treated you like shit, ruined everything, but I want to fix it, I want to make things right between us. Ive stopped hurting myself, Derek told me it was dumb and wasn't making anything better, it was hard though, I grew up thinking I deserved it, so stopping felt wrong, but I did it, for you. I wasn't lying when I said I loved you, I do love you, so much, you are the most important thing to me. I will do anything to make things better, just tell me what I can do, tell me how to fix this Angel." he finishes looking into my eyes, im bawling at this point, like ugly sobbing. 

"You already have" I tell him and then crawl into him lap wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging tightly, he wraps his arms around my back and pulls me to him breathing deeply, this is where I belong, in his arms. He pulls away and grabs my face between his hands, "Tell me you love me?" he asks in a whisper, "I love you" I tell him, he rests his forehead against mine, "Say it again" he says, "I love you Cole" I tell him. He pulls my lips to his kissing me with so much passion it starts a new wave of tears as I feel all of his love pouring into this kiss, I have my man back, he's finally mine.