Bring the rain leave the sun

Mud stains on the calendar

I'm starting to see that writing is not enough

When my experience of the world is limited

On the phone it's safer, you went away docs orders

Said you'd be back in a weeks time but a weeks time

Might feel like 2 year or 2 months

I stop myself mid and realize I was being a hypocrite

Guilty even when I shouldn't have

Birthday wishes from everyone but still waited on

Yours it came that night.

When I was sitting outside drinking wine

Eating fry chicken and looking up at the clouds

Wondering if I part it with my hands

What will I find,

I also thought of your mom and how was she

I worry about everything that sometimes

I worry myself

birthday was last week I cried and said

cheers to twenty still stuck in life like mud pit

But I know the stains won't last long on my shoes

Getting older how I could remember when I just

came out of school 17 now 20 how I could remember

When I just first meet you Ignored the first message

That was back in school the second message lead me

to answer back now bestie of four years

You asked me why I disappeared from you of two

Years, only if you knew that I cannot cross

Certain Borders something's pass but

something's linger

A little longer than it should so

I lied and said because when I'm stuck in life's

mud pit I don't call out for help i linger hoping the

stains would disappear turns out some don't

Ever go away so they linger and this emotion seems

To wait and burn slowly.

-ashes poetry