trans!phil 2009
Phil groaned as he stood up, stretching out his aching back. He had been wearing his binder for too long, and it was starting to take its toll on his body. To make matters worse, he was also on his period and feeling extra sensitive.
Phil winced as he reached up to adjust his binder, which was digging into his skin and making it hard to breathe. He knew he should take it off, but he didn't want to deal with the dysphoric feelings that would come with seeing his chest unbound. He was already feeling bloated and uncomfortable due to his period, and the thought of adding another source of dysphoria to the mix was too much to bear.
Dan was in the bathroom, brushing his teeth and getting ready for bed. He had come over that weekend, as he did every weekend, and it had become a sort of ritual for them to spend time together in person instead of just over Skype. As he heard Phil's groans and moans from the other room, he couldn't help but wonder what was wrong.
Dan finished brushing his teeth and stepped out of the bathroom, finding Phil sitting on the edge of the bed, looking miserable.
'Hey,' Dan said softly, sitting down beside Phil and placing a hand on his shoulder. 'What's wrong?'
Phil sighed, leaning into Dan's touch. "I think I wore my binder too long today," he admitted, his voice strained and tight. "And I'm on my period, so everything just feels super uncomfortable."
Dan squeezed Phil's shoulder gently, his heart aching for his boyfriend. 'Aw, bub, that sounds rough,'" he said sympathetically. "Why don't you take off your binder and let your chest breathe a little?"
Phil shook his head, his expression stubborn even through the pain. "No, I don't want to." He fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, avoiding Dan's gaze. "I don't want to see myself without it on."
Dan's heart ached even more as Phil's words sunk in. He knew how much Phil struggled with his gender identity, how much he hated everything about being transgender. He reached out and took one of Phil's hands in his own, intertwining their fingers.
"Hey," he said gently, "just because you're on your period doesn't make you any less of a man. You're still my amazing, handsome boyfriend."
Phil closed his eyes, tears pricking at the corners of them. He knew Dan was right, but it was hard to shake off the negative thoughts and feelings that came with being transgender.
"It still sucks, though," he mumbled, his voice wavering.
Dan scooted closer to Phil, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "I know, bub. I know it does. But I'm here for you, okay? I'm not going anywhere."
Phil leaned into Dan's embrace, letting out a shaky sigh. "Thanks," he whispered, burying his face in the crook of Dan's neck.
"Of course," Dan murmured, running his fingers through Phil's hair. "Do you want me to get you anything? Heat pad, painkillers, a snack?"
"Heat pad, please," Phil mumbled, his voice muffled against Dan's skin.
Dan nodded, pressing a soft kiss to the top of Phil's head before reluctantly extracting himself from the embrace to go get the heat pad.
When he returned a moment later, he found Phil lying on his side on the bed, his knees drawn up to his chest. Dan frowned, noticing the small tremors that shook Phil's frame.
"Here," Dan said softly, handing Phil the heat pad. He perched on the edge of the bed, watching as Phil pressed the pad to his stomach, wincing slightly as he did so.
"Does it help?" he asked, even though he already knew the answer.
Phil nodded silently, his eyes still closed. Dan reached out and began to lightly massage Phil's shoulders, trying to soothe the tense muscles that were likely making his discomfort even worse.
