Until I Found You

Part 28

She hesitated, then continued, "But what about Omer and our relationship? We're stuck... It's not great right now. I don't want to lose him, I don't know what to do about that."

The therapist looked thoughtful. "Well, I don't know what he's thinking or what he's going through. I can only speak to your experiences and feelings. I'd actually like to have him here at some point. It might help to understand his perspective and work through things together."

Kivilcim shook her head, her voice steady despite the vulnerability in her eyes. "No, not yet. I'm not ready for that. I need to work through this on my own first.... and then I will my husband"

"Ok, then we'll discuss more in our next session. I will see you in two days." The woman said as Kivilcim nodded.

As Kivilcim walked through the door a little after 8 PM, the house was quiet. The kids were already asleep as school was beginning again. The day had been long and emotionally draining, and thoughts from the therapy session felt even heavier as she dealt with them alone.

She made her way to the kitchen, her movements automatic as she poured herself a glass of wine. The rich, dark liquid moving gracefully in the glass as she swirled it. As she took a sip, trying to calm herself, Omer emerged from the hallway.

He bumped into her as he entered the kitchen, ready to turn the lights out. "You missed dinner again, but it is in the fridge. " His voice was sharp, laced with the annoyance that had been building up over the past few days. All he wanted was to speak to her, to hold her, to be close to her. But he didn't know how to break this cycle of bitterness they both refused to give up.

Kivilcim glanced at him, her voice calm. She got over the phase of giving him attitude as she softened up the past few weeks. She didn't want to be rude to the man that she loved. She was just upset with him but they both couldn't bring themselves to have that big conversation. "I'm not hungry." She took another sip of her wine, then turned toward the stairs.

"Where have you been?" Omer asked.

Kivilcim looked at him, her eyes soft, unable to tell him where she really was. She wasn't ready to tell him. She didn't have the guts to while she still worked through her own feelings. She met his gaze for a moment, feeling a bit of sadness. But she chose to remain silent, unable to articulate her feelings that she has avoided for so long.

Omer's frustration flared. "You've been coming home late more often, and you're avoiding me when I try to talk to you. What's going on? Why are you acting like this?"

Omer watched her. "Kivilcim!! when will you talk?"

She finally looked up at him, her gaze steady but her voice calm. "Not right now, Omer. I need some space. Don't push me."

"I have given you more than enough space and more than enough time. Where were you?" Omer demanded.

"Work." Kivilcim responded. As Kivilcim moved to leave the kitchen, Omer's frustration boiled over. "I called your work. The receptionist said you left at 5:30. It's almost 8:30 now. Where have you been?"

Kivilcim stopped in her tracks, turning to face him with a mixture of surprise and irritation. "Are you keeping tabs on me?"

Omer's gaze was firm. "Yes. Because you are my wife. Where were you?!"

"Work then a meeting. Anything else?" Kivilcim responded.

"Don't lie, Kivilcim. I know you." Omer said.

Kivilcim sighed deeply, the weight of the day pressing down on her. "Omer... I don't want to argue with you right now. I had a long day. I just need some time alone."