Kaida stepped into the building, the heels of her boots clacking down onto the floor, cape swaying around behind her. She was a busy enby, she had places to go, people to see, introductions to make, alliances to form. Running a whole island with just a small council was rather difficult, though she'd persist. They have to, with all these like-minded misfits under their rule and allied with xem, they were her responsibility. These people count on her to be make safe space, and that was something xe took very seriously, they couldn't handle the thought of xyr people getting hurt because of their mistakes.
Despite this, however, she didn't seem to want help. Getting close to people and relying on them is dangerous, every hug can wind up to getting your back stabbed, she always told themself to keep herself from relying on others too much. Her advisors had always claimed that it wasn't healthy for xem to keep everyone at arm's length, that it would just leave her abandoned again as xe feared. Though, she was stubborn as hell, and what could stop her? The law? No thanks, that used to stop her before, they aren't letting it control xyr life again.
People were always a risk, either a new acquaintance, ally, or enemy. That's what people are, and it's a gamble to see what it'll be. Xe gave up that risky life of trust long ago, instead sticking to like-minded people who weren't as... Unpredictable. Helping her people was the focus, not getting friendships.
She wouldn't let herself get distracted by anyone, even possible friends for now.
Besides, friendships took work, and they already had enough going on right now for that. Sure, she knows, logically, that if xe were to have friends help her, that she could get more done, but she refuses to accept help, this is her responsibility, not others'. They pushed aside having friendships for now to focus on what was most important; this new responsibility of thirty people on this island with her.
Kaida had founded this island, "a place of refuge", some of the residents called it, a place for antiheros, misfits, the misunderstood and the lost, to join in an alliance. It was a safe space, and it could only stay like that if xe was a strong, responsible, intelligent, reliable leader for xyr citizens.
Alliance of Misfits, xyr island, is her responsibility and theirs alone.
...For now.
They made a mental note to themself to maybe make a map of her lair since even she couldn't find her way around it at times (and guests would be in an even worse struggle). Originally, xe had designed her lair to be a maze with twisting halls and optical illusions to make it a struggle for any intruders to find their way around, though now it was just a bit of a pain at the moment. They would work on that, just another responsibility to add to the growing list...
Clack, clack, clack, clack, clack. Went her boots as she perambulated through xyr lair, searching for a specific room, the library— a room xe consulted often for her struggles. Perhaps her council was right, xe should really redesign their lair so it's not such a difficulty to navigate. Perhaps if they were to just made some maps, redesign the walls so the colors aren't an illusion to trick the mind, label some rooms, give better lighting, etc. then that could be what would make it an actual home and not a labyrinth.
Upon reaching their destination, xe went over to the nonfiction section to read up on the history of politics, democracy, morality, teamwork, and gods only know what else she grabbed. And now, to research like xyr life depended on it. Spend their time in their office, learning how to be a responsible leader as to not disappoint everyone who relies on her.
This totally wasn't overworking herself, it wasn't obsessive learning, it was preparation, and it was important, they couldn't delay this any longer than xe already had.
Yes, xyr council had instructed her to take more breaks, to have self care, and the whole point of a council is to listen to them, not disregard them, but she continued her self-sabotage in plans to help their people (but as a result, not herself).
(A/N: This is just a little oneshot for now, it's not going to be an actual story. I just wanted to post it for Pixie lol- I'm tempted to make it an actual book tho- no promises)
@PixieStixInMyCereal sorry it took me forever to make this lol, tysm for the little idea)
