New Believers Of God

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

I sat awake in my bed for most of that night, taking this whole situation into deep consideration, thinking beyond hard about my options, and which one I should ultimately make. To no surprise whatsoever, it wasn't easy. As I said before, regardless of which trip I chose, somebody else would be left disappointed. There was really no right or wrong choice. But even then, no matter how hard I thought, I just couldn't decide. I was completely self-destructed. Eventually though, with much reluctance, I made up my mind.

The next day at school, I met Holly at her locker.

"Hey Cole." she said with a smile.

"We need to talk Holly." I said back.

"Sure." she agreed "What's up?"

I'm sure she realized how nervous I was. I could feel myself tensing up and was struggling with every word. It was all too obvious.

"It's about the trip." I finally said, "I can't go."

"What?" she asked, her tone suddenly changing "Why not?"

This was only getting harder.

"It's the guys." I answered "There's another trip for St. Philip's. It's the same week. They want me to go."

"Wait a second." she said, "Did this happen after you agreed to go with me?"

She was seeing right through me. There was no turning back now. I couldn't lie to her.

"Yes." I said back.

"Do they know about that?"

"Yes."

I was completely ridden with guilt.

"Cole." she told me "Don't you remember what I said? They're forcing you to do something you don't want to. They only care about themselves. That's not what friendship is. God knows that and so do you."

"But I have to." I told her.

"You don't have to do anything."

"If I don't go, they'll never talk to me again."

"Then don't. If they really mean that, it should be all you need to know. Why would you want to be friends with people like that? Don't give into them."

I wanted to listen to her. Honest to God I did. Deep down inside, I knew she was right. There was no doubt about it. But as much as I cared about her, I just couldn't bear losing the guys either. If I did, I would forever be an enemy to them. I had already seen a glimpse of that, and it wasn't something I wanted to deal with any further. At that moment, this seemed like the best choice to make.

"I'm sorry Holly." I told her.

Realizing my decision was made, her expression changed to one of total heartbreak. She stared me straight in the face with sad puppy dog eyes, trying hard not to cry.

"No you're not." she replied.

Looking at her like that was all I could take.

"I'm sorry." I repeated, feeling sick to my stomach.

"You'd rather let them use you than stick up for yourself." she said, "That makes you a coward."

"Don't say that." I said back.

"I hate you Cole." she told me, choking back tears "I hate you so much!"

She then turned around and began to run away.

"Holly wait!" I called out, chasing after her.

Within seconds, she disappeared into the large crowd of students, and although I tried catching up to her, had no luck.

I quickly came to see what a terrible mistake I made. Not only did I let her down, but I also full on ruined our friendship. Way worse of an outcome than I was expecting.

Now she was the one who was left disappointed.