A Hero?

Memories

"what did Natasha say?" I ask Tony confused.

Tony looks around the room and then back at me, "she thinks and has been proven right that you have been with HYDRA for a long time and have been fighting along side them, and us seeing you in what seemed like a uniform last night proves her right."

"I feel like I would know if i was." I say trying to show them how ridiculous that would be. "they probably only took me because they know I'm here a lot and want to see whats inside,"

"good point, but i dont know. Natasha is usually right." Steve buts in.

"is there something we can do to find out?" I ask. I need answers and I don't know if i'm going to like the answer.

"there are some researchers in neurology and cognitivity that have found some things to retrieve memories, but I have been thinking of something I could build. It would probably take Tony and I a day maybe more to build." Bruce chimes in on an idea.

"perfect lets do that." I say.

"the only problem is I don't how well it works or if it even works. there could be side affects that we don't know about." Bruce says gestureing with his hands a lot.

"i'm ready to risk it for the biscuit." I say while I hear Peter snicker.

"are you a hundred percent sure?" Tony asks.

"yes."

"alright we'll get to building then."

Peter decided to take me to the living room to play some games on the tv. first he brings out something called wii fit. Peter seems to be amazing at it while who I learned is Thor was absolutly terrible at it.

while I was waiting for Bruce and Tony to finish building I went swimming in the tower pool with Peter and Steve, I seem to be pretty good at swimming like above average, I don't remember ever going swimming before this.

I end up taking a nap and get woken up by Peter when they finish building the machine.

we walk to Tony's shop and I see a chair with a huge head peice over it, a bunch of tubes are connecting from a machine to this head peice. it looks intimidating but I try to stay confident as I go up to Tony. he tells me I just sit in it and he put the thing on my head and ties me down.

wait

Ties me down?!

 Why the hell would i need to be tied down?

"it's just to make sure you dont shift the chair and moves anything and diconnects something." Bruce explains.

"oh ok," I say making me a little more comfortable.

I sit down with everyone standing around me. first they buckle my wrists down, then my chest, my ankles and my neck. and now im starting to feel nervous. 

"I suppose its too late to use the bathroom?" I joke. 

"definatly kid." Tony says as he puts the helmet down on my head. 

What if I get my memories back and become what I supposobly am at HYDRA? what if they cage me up and I can't be me again? what if I attack them? What happens when I- 

My thoughts stop as a shock goes through my head. I clench my mouth shut in pain as it happens again, my eyes are squeezed shut in pain as I start to feel more memories pumping into my head, going to fast to keep up.

It feels like I just learned everything about someone else, I see blood, gore, and torture. I start to feel bad but then I remeber that's me. I see myself killing people, and torturing people.

I want to look away but can't, then i see it, me, as a kid, being tortured by HYDRA. I see knives, whips, hammers, chains, and jumper cables. 

I start feeling so much anger.

I want to kill them.

they hurt a kid, a child, an innocent mind.

no one can go back from that.

seeing that. hearing it.

feeling it. 

more pain goes through my head, worse than before and I think I wanted to scream but wouldn't let myself I felt like I was being tortured again, I felt like I couldn't show emotions back then, wasn't allowed to feel anything.

The pain stops I hear people shouting to get it off of me, and people asking whats going on.

My eyes shoot open and I try to move but I'm still tied down. 

"Rylan?" Peter asks. I look up at him trying to gather my thoughts, my words but I can't. I start to stumble over my words. I can't even clearly say 'it's me' it comes out as a stutter of words and mumbling. 

"are you ok?" Steve asks. I can't spit out anything so i just nod. I start feeling a little less overwhelmed and able to speak. 

"can you un-tie me?" I say a bit shaky thinking about what happened in HYDRA.

"right sorry." Bruce says as he hurries to un-do the buckles.

I sit there for a second leaned over taking in all the new memories that I have to adjust to now. I wish Natasha was wrong.

"so? did it work?" Peter asks.

"yeah, it did." I say and stand up. I feel a bit wobbly but Peter grabs my shoulders when he notices.

"And? was Natasha right?" Steve asks.

"I wish that she wasn't" I say looking at him.

"what did you find out that was so bad?" Thor asks.

I look at Natasha and she gives me a look of pity, she knows what i'm thinking, I think shes been through something similar.

"it's not good but I think there was something interesting. I say myself doing what Spider-Man can do, or at least i'm pretty sure. I can see Tony and Peter make eye contact for a split second before I understand, I look at Peter and feel like I can hear his thoughts. He's Spider-Man.

"Peter." he looks at me and starts to stumble over his words to cover up the little exchange in between them. "you're him aren't you?"

he looks down in defeat while Tony pipes up, "well cats out of the box you might as well teach him or figure out if he even has these powers.