Idiotic Infatuation

THE AUGUST DIARY

My heart pounded as his hand gripped my waist from behind, and I felt his breath on my neck. I was nervous, flushed, and petrified.

"Someone will see us," I said between heavy breaths.

"Let them. I don't care," he replied, nibbling on my earlobe.

A foreign sensation coursed through my body. In no time, he turned me around to face him.

His eyes traveled from mine to my lips. His scent seemed to whisk me away to another realm. I could feel his warm, firm hands on my cheeks and his other hand firmly on my waist. I wanted to shove him away because he was weakening my knees, but he knew how much I desired his touch.

"Take off my glasses," he demanded.

I held his face and took off his black-rimmed glasses. Behind those reflectors, he had a pair of black eyes that hid all his secrets. His gaze pierced through mine, making my heart race even faster. He was so close I could smell his breath, mixed with coffee. Before long, I felt his soft lips on mine. The softness of his lips transported me to another world. I didn't care where we were; I just wanted his lips on me. We both fought for dominance until his hand traveled from my jaw to my left breast. I gasped as he pressed it lightly, and he gladly took the chance to slip his tongue into my mouth. I was compelled to grab his collar and yank him closer. I missed him so much more because of the distance between us. The separation made me want him even more. We pulled apart, our heavy breaths mingling in the air. He leaned into me while his left hand held me protectively. I gasped and looked up at him as he pressed my breast and leaned in to kiss me again. We walked past his bed when he whispered,

"Sit on my lap, Mommy."

"But I'm heavy; your legs will hurt," I said, looking at him innocently.

He smirked and replied,

"Why do you think I've been working out so much? So I can pick you up and feel every inch of your body. Now come on, you won't hurt me."

He saw that I was hesitating before reaching for my waist and pulling me toward him a little. He buried his face in my chest. I couldn't help but caress his slightly long, wavy hair. He looked like a little child who had never received affection. I sat on his lap while he continued to bury himself in my chest. The silence between us was peaceful—the smell of his hair, his breath.

A few moments later, he looked into my eyes and said,

"You'll be late for your classes."

I was puzzled.

"Abbey uth jaa, you'll be late for your classes!"

I woke up to Bhavika screaming. It was a dream. A fucking dream! I checked my phone—it was past 8:30 in the morning.

"Shit! Why didn't you wake me up? I'll be late!" I said, rushing out of bed.

"I've been trying to wake you up for the past 15 minutes!" she replied.

I rushed to the bathroom with my robe and other essentials and was done in 15 minutes. I paired my white shoes with a turquoise shirt and black denim pants. Since I still had twenty-five minutes before class started, I took the opportunity to do my skincare and hair. I was seldom into makeup, as my hypersensitive skin never allowed me. So, all I did was moisturize my face and keep myself hydrated. I let my wavy hair down, put on some lipstick, and spritzed my favorite perfume before heading out.

I ran to my department and waited for the lift. I was scrolling through my Instagram feed when I noticed someone standing next to me. It was none other than Vivaan. I was not at all prepared to confront him after whatever had transpired. Despite his persistent gaze, I refused to acknowledge him. The elevator arrived shortly after, and we both entered. As I pressed the button for the fourth floor, I assumed Vivaan would get off on the third. But as the floors passed, Vivaan remained in the elevator with me.

Is he not going to his classes? Is he stalking me? When my floor arrived, I hurried to my classroom without even glancing back at him. Fortunately, the professor hadn't arrived yet, so I had some time to breathe easy next to Vedika—or maybe not. As I was getting ready for the lesson, I saw Vivaan in the other classroom, staring right at me.

"Shit!" I mumbled.

"What?" Vedika asked.

"I am doomed!"

I'm not sure why, but I felt a heavy weight inside. It was just August, yet my body was shivering. I can definitely relate now to what Dharia said in her August Diaries:

"But she shouldn't notice,

It was only August

The cold that she felt wasn't from weather,

It was from his poison."

But it wasn't poison from a person; rather, I was experiencing chills due to a viral illness that was circulating across the university. Still, I feel it's way better than feeling someone's poison, especially from someone like Mr. Vivaan Saxena. That guy is truly a little child in disbelief, unable to even understand how to deal with annoyances or the fact that people can resolve conflicts through simple communication. But I have a ton of stuff to get done.

"Oh God! I can breathe," I said while clutching the blanket.

"Bhavika, can you please switch off the AC? I'm feeling cold."

"Or maybe you caught a cold, dear. I never turned on the AC since last night."

I attempted to open my eyes, but I was having trouble doing so because of the light coming in through the window. I had dizziness, a plugged nose, difficulty breathing, and an overall unpleasant feeling. I dragged myself to the bathroom, showered, and prepared for my classes.

Even though it was still August, it felt like December already. I walked out of my dorm and spotted Shanaya waiting for me.

"Can we grab a coffee before we leave, please?" I asked while scrunching my nose.

The warm cup of coffee temporarily subdued my chills, and I was enjoying the sun. As I started to head toward my lecture classroom while sipping my cup of steaming blessing, I noticed Vivaan standing at the door. He was laughing with a girl, most likely a fresher. Her flushed cheeks caught my eye, and I could see him mumbling something to her—I never thought he was this hilarious, but who cares? Unbothered, I walked past him, aware that his gaze was fixed on me.

My lecture was about to end when my phone buzzed. It was a text message from none other than Vivaan.

Vivaan: Are you okay?

Arya: None of your business.

Vivaan: Arya, please....

I noticed Vedika peeping at my phone and giving me a bombastic side-eye.

"I thought you guys weren't talking."

"We're not! I have no interest in talking to him," I said, packing my stuff.

"Are you grabbing lunch?" I asked her.

She stood up and began walking with me.

"I saw him with someone new. He doesn't give a fuck about anyone. He's a fucking emotionally unavailable person."

"Arya, he's a 21-year-old kid. You can't expect him to be a man yet, and you guys are nothing. You're stressing out for no reason."

I was somewhat taken aback by Vedika's statement, although it seemed plausible. He is a child, and although we both come from diverse backgrounds, his viewpoint is very different from mine. I shouldn't focus on his needs and wants—he can focus on himself.