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71. Mommy Is Missing

The world is big and loud and scary. I don't like loud noises.

They hurt my ears.

Mommy says they're bad.

She holds me when they come. I like Mommy. She smells like flowers and cookies. I hold her hand tight. I don't like when she's gone.

Mommy and Daddy used to be happy. They played with me. They laughed and smiled. Daddy would lift me high and I would giggle.

Mommy would sing songs and rock me to sleep. But things changed. Mommy isn't smiling anymore. She looks sad, and she doesn't sing as much.

There's a lady who comes to our house now. She has shiny hair and pretty clothes. She makes Daddy smile.

Mommy doesn't smile when the lady comes.

Mommy goes to her room and closes the door. She doesn't like it when the lady is here. I can hear them talking through the door.

They sound angry.

Mommy cries a lot. She tries to be quiet, but I hear her sometimes.

One day, I was playing with my toys. I have a bear, and he's my favorite. I make him dance and sing. Mommy used to sing with him, but now she just watches me with sad eyes. I don't like seeing Mommy sad. I want her to be happy again.

The lady came over that day. She had a big smile, but it looked funny. Her smile was too big, and her eyes were mean. I don't like the way she looks at Mommy.

Daddy lets the lady in, and they go to the room with the closed door. Mommy is in the kitchen, and she is crying. I try to give her my bear. I want her to feel better.

Mommy takes the bear and hugs it close. She looks at me and smiles, but her smile is wet.

She says, "Thank you, sweetheart." Her voice is soft, like when she reads me stories before bed. I hug her tight. She smells like flowers and cookies and tears.

The lady and Daddy are loud in the room. I hear crashing noises and yelling. Mommy covers my ears. She holds me close, and I can feel her heart beating fast.

She whispers, "It's okay, darling." But it doesn't feel okay. The noises are scary, and I want them to stop.

Mommy and Daddy come out of the room. Mommy's eyes are red, and Daddy's face is hard. The lady is smiling her big smile, but it's not nice.

Daddy looks at Mommy like he's mad. Mommy's shoulders are shaking. She holds me tight, and I can feel her breathing fast. She's crying again.

The lady and Daddy go back to the room with the closed door. Mommy is sitting on the floor. She looks tired and sad. I want to make her happy. I give her my bear again.

She hugs it and says, "Thank you, sweetheart." Her voice is shaky.

She's crying a lot now.

I see the lady come out of the room. She's holding something shiny. It's sharp and it looks dangerous. She walks past Mommy and doesn't say anything.

The lady's smile is gone. Daddy follows her, and they leave the house. Mommy is still sitting on the floor. She looks really tired. Her eyes are closed, and she doesn't move.

I crawl to Mommy and touch her face. It's cold. I try to wake her up, but she doesn't move.

I hug her and say, "Mommy, wake up." But she doesn't wake up.

I'm scared.

I don't like this.

I want Mommy to wake up.

I want everything to be happy again.

The door opens, and there's a noise. It's the man in the blue uniform. He looks at Mommy and his face is sad. He picks me up and holds me close. I see Mommy lying on the floor, and I start to cry. I want her to get up. I want things to be normal again.

The man talks to someone on a black box. He sounds serious and sad. I don't understand what he's saying. I just want Mommy. I reach for her, but the man holds me tight. He takes me away from the kitchen and puts me in a room with other people. They're talking quietly. I don't understand their words.

I see the lady again.

She's in the room with the closed door. Her clothes are different now. She looks different too. She doesn't smile. She just stands there, staring.

Daddy isn't there anymore. The man in the blue uniform talks to the lady. She looks down at the floor. She doesn't look at me. I want to ask her about Mommy, but I'm too scared.

The people in the room talk softly. They try to make me feel better. They give me a new bear, but it's not the same. It doesn't smell like cookies and flowers. I don't want it. I want my bear and my Mommy.

The man in the blue uniform takes me to a new place. It's a big room with lots of beds. The people there are nice, but they don't know how to make me feel better. They give me food and toys, but I just want my Mommy. I want to go home.

The days go by, and I see the lady sometimes. She doesn't come close. She looks sad and scared. I see her on TV with the man in the blue uniform. They talk about things I don't understand.

They say words like "bad" and "punished." I don't know what those words mean, but I know they're not good.

I miss Mommy.

I miss the way she held me and sang to me.

I miss the smell of cookies and flowers.

I miss her smile, even when she was sad.

I want things to be the way they were before the lady came.

I want my family back.

Every day is the same. I wake up in the big room and play with the new bear. It doesn't feel right. It doesn't make me happy. I still have dreams of Mommy. I dream that she's holding me and smiling, but then I wake up and she's not there.

I don't know what will happen next. The world is confusing and scary. I just want to be with Mommy again. I want to feel safe and loved. I want everything to be okay. But it's not. And I don't know if it ever will be.

The big room is full of people, but they don't replace Mommy. They try to help, but they don't know what's wrong.

I just want Mommy.

I just want to be happy again. But I don't know how to make that happen. The world is big and loud and scary, and I don't understand it. All I know is that I miss Mommy, and I don't want to be alone.

And so, I wait.

I wait for the day when things will be okay again.

I wait for Mommy to come back.

I wait for the world to be less scary.

I wait, and I hope.

But waiting is hard, and hoping feels like a long, dark tunnel with no light at the end.

And so, I continue to wait, in the big room with the new bear, hoping that one day, Mommy will be back, and everything will be right again.

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