"Hairy what smells funny??????? hahahahaha." i laughed.
while walking down the street about 15 hours ago, Harry pulled up next to me in a van, and threw me in the back while muttering "shut the fuck up you ugly fucking foot" and blindfolded me. I love when he does flirty surprises like this!
"its probably you. When's the last time you showered?" He asked me, while leading me where to walk, since i was still blindfolded.
"hmmm....i don't remember! " I said quietly....but i do remember.
{The winter of 1943 was cold...much like Taylor Swift's vagina. I lay in a tree top, looking over the stone sold land for the enemies to come and snatch me up like my ex girlfriend snatched my virginity. I looked to my right - my canteen was filled with my piss. I couldn't go down to the ground since the nazi's were after me.
Hitler sent them after me when he saw I copied his mustache.
I took the canteen and spilt it all over my body - my first shower in weeks. I shivered and smiled.
"Drink my piss, Adolf." my teeth chattered as i threw the canteen to the snowy ground beneath me.}
I shivered at the thought.
I heard a gate open and it shut behind us.
Harry took off my blindfold, revealing the surprise.
I was like :o , because i was in disbelief!
"welcum to ur new home, slut!" Harry said, pointing at the ran-down trailer.
my eyes filled up wit tears. "Hairy....dis is perfekt. i cnt #believe u did this 4 me."
He smiled, but dropped it after he remembered how ugly i was. "GET DOWN AND DO 600 PUSH UPS BITCH."
I got down and started working my triceps, with Harry sitting on my back.
"im sorry i did tht bby u no how easily i get angree!!" he licked my ear.
"its okay hairy, i 4give u." we walked inside.
I counted 13 cats on the couch be4 Paula deen walked into the room. She only wore a slice of cheese over her lady parts. i was like (-; but then harry pushed me.
"r u cHEATING ON ME U UGLY FUCKING SLORE." He pinched my wenis and tht made me cri.
"hairy staph pls" i cryed as he squeezed harder.
"HO CHI MIN STAPH" Paula deen sprung into action and tackled the girly looking boy with all her might. she took a cook book and started spanking him with it.
"have u lerned ur lesson ho chi min." she whispered
"y y y yy. yu y y y y y yu. yus" hairy cried, his body over her knees and his buttocks in pain.
paula pushed him off her lap and ran to jump out a window, to live back in the wild where she REALLY belongs.
"hairy r u ok" i asked, caressing his butt with my hand (-;
he swallowed, lookin up @ me. "nudez wuld make me feel bettur."
his eyes started i close - he wuz dying!!!!!
"oH NOZ" i said, grabbing my fone to send him nudez.
his fone buzzed - a kik notification from me. tht message held something very important - my nudez.
"pls wake up hairy." i poked his belly button sensually.
he opened hiz eyez. "gr8!" he said.
he slid his phone into his bra. "i'll save those 4 l8r." he winked.
i was like (-; and followed him int the kitchen.
"wats 4 dinn dinn." i asked.
"pu$$y." he was like (-; and i was like XD
"oh hairy. ur so funny. we're havin tuna" i said, lookin for fi$h.
wat a gr8 way to end the nite (-:
