Secrets {Staig}

Chapter Two

     It's raining today. Most would find the rain depressing, yet I find it utterly enchanting. Except today just looks disgusting. Sludgy and snowy. The door is caked with outdoor dirt mom will beg dad to clean for months, and the crevices of my shoes are filled with rocks from stepping on dirty snow.
    Yet the sensation of his warmth is all I seem to focus on. Even though it's been hours, and Shelley let me into the house at about two thirty in the morning, I can still feel his heat. His comfort.
    "Stanley, quit playing with your food" Mom breaks me from my thoughts "it's getting cold, and you're going to be late"
    "I'm not gonna be late mom" I roll my eyes
    "You're not going a hundred miles an hour down the road either mister, not on a day like today" she tussles my hair and stretches to get ready for work.
    "Yes mom." I laugh a little, ninety five isn't one hundred. 
    I finish my breakfast and get ready for school, it's Monday. I don't know if it was the speeding or the fact that I ate quicker, but I made it to school with fifteen minutes to spare, I spend it sitting in my car, listening to music, but I'm just staring out the window, thinking about him.

  First hour rolls around, and the morning announcements begin, I look at Kyle and roll my eyes, making a fake shooting motion towards my head. They always sound so dull.
    "Today we will be announcing our Valentine's Day dance, taking place next Friday, ticket admission is five dollars, and if you have a date you can purchase a ticket for two for eight dollars, a whole two dollar discount, yay. Oh and it's girls ask boys. Last year things got... intense."
    A school dance? Ugh. That's when people start coupling up. Girls ask boys? They're about to get an earful from the community. What about Tweek and Craig? I mean it's pretty obvious Tweek is the girl... what if Craig would say no..?

   A few days have gone by since the dance was announced. Nobody has really asked anyone yet, but I guess people just needed the chance to convene with their friends and plan their asking, because as soon as I walked in I saw girls on their knees, my classmates pulling notes out of their lockers, and I was no different.
    "I fear you may not reciprocate, but I've felt deeply for you for a while, please meet me in the art room during lunch."
   No signature. Huh. I immediately bring it over to Kyle and Cartman, who are giggling at Kyle's locker, but it seems to stop after a nudge as soon as I make eye contact with Cartman.
    "Hey guys, what's going on?" They've been acting super weird lately, but I don't want to give away that I feel bad because they'll just call me a cissy.
    "Nothin, just talking about the dance, Kyle got three letters in his locker today" Cartman laughs "I mean, who would want to go to a dance with this Jew!" I don't think that's what they were laughing about, Kyle usually doesn't laugh when he says things like that, but this time he doesn't even get angry, he just rolls his eyes and brushes it off. Huh.
    "Yeah well, I got a letter too, not signed or anything." I pull it out and show it to them, Kyle inspects it while Cartman gives him a confused look, as though questioning what Kyle could possibly be seeing.
   "So are you gonna go?" Kyle asks
   "I don't know... do you think.." I look around and lean in "do you think that looks more like a boys handwriting, or a girls?"
   Cartman busts out laughing and Kyle covers his mouth before he can start yelling. As weird as they've been acting, I thank him for that.
    "Why are you wondering?" Kyle asks, I look around before answering
    "I just want to know if I'm getting pranked... yknow? What if I go and it's the football team gonna throw eggs at me?"
   Kyle let's go of Cartman, who has regained his composure "Football isn't even in season, and you don't even play basketball."
    "Would you answer the damn question? I'm paranoid about it for fucks sake" I roll my eyes and he chuckles lowly
    "Alright alright let me look" he inspects the paper again, taking a deep sigh and saying "anyone with a brain would be able to tell it's from a girl." He steps closer and shows me the paper "If you notice these 'i's have hearts around them, and they're pretty good, meaning a boy couldn't fake a heart being drawn that good, and the handwriting itself is small and elegant, indicative of a more stereotypically traditional female handwriting"
    I feel my heart sink a little, but I expected that didn't I? "Oh hell yea, I'll miss lunch and go see this mystery lady" ugh. I guess I'll go, it'll feel good to be asked, it feels good to be liked.

     Five minutes before lunch bell I get a buzz. It's the end of class, and we're not doing anything, so I check it out. It's a random number message that says
   'Change of plans, art room occupied, meet me under the left side stairs'
   How did she get my phone number? I go to my contacts and surf through all the girls in my contacts, I have quite a few. So I can rule them out as potential askers. Including Wendy, I heard she's already going with Clyde.
    The bell rings and I head to the stairs, taking a deep breath as I open the door and stand atop the stairs, waiting for the storm of people to make their way to the cafeteria, or their fourth hour if they have second lunch. Once the bell rings I'm left standing silently in the stairwell, I hear the bottom door open and close, nobody comes up the stairs.
    My back straightens. Shes there.