Secrets {Staig}

Chapter Four

It's the day before the dance. Since Red asked, I've spent an uncomfortable amount of time around Tweek and Craig. Enough to be jealous, enough to feel like Tweek doesn't deserve him.
Craig's not a great guy by any means, but sometimes it seems like Tweek tries really hard just to get a reaction from him. People like Craig aren't meant to be that way, and if he's gonna get pushed to the point of screaming, he's obviously super pissed and stressed.
And that's exactly what happened today. Tweek started making backhand comments about Craig, and he couldn't take it. He screamed at Tweek and walked out.
Red and I look at each other, afterward she looks at Tweek concerned.
"That was so mean of him... are you okay?" She asks him.
He's eating this up. I can tell. I roll my eyes and get up, walking out to the hallway in an attempt to find Craig.
Should I yell for him? No, I'll attract the wrong kind of attention. I decide to go right, and after exploring for a few minutes I come to the conclusion that I've gone the wrong way.
"Fuck.." I mumble to myself as I turn around and make my way back to go the other way, I hate looking for people, why is he making me do this? He's not. I'm doing this.
I feel a hand grip my jacket and pull me backward into a room, and when the door shuts it's dim.
"Woah! The fuck?!" I exclaim, involuntarily.
"Hey" Craig says lowly as he inches closer to my face, I back away until I'm against the wall, and he's inches from me.
"Are you okay?" I ask
"Oh yeah" he intertwines our fingers "That shit you gave me works super good."
"That's nice... About Tweek... I think-"
"Aww screw that spaz" he rolls his eyes "During the dance..." he pulls his hand from mine to put it on my face "we should dance together" he clears his throat, he looks so confident, for being so... not.
"What about Red? She really wanted to go with me."
"And she still will! All I'm saying is we should peel away and..." he trails off "go for a drive, or something" he moves away from me and sighs.
Is he trying to hit on me? I get he's unhappy... aw screw it I won't take advantage of this opportunity, I put my arm around his waist and pull him back in, closely.
"Who told you to move away from me?" His hand goes back to my cheek and we sit there for what feels like eternity. He moves his lips in a little closer
"I want to-" the bell snaps him out of it, he pushes me away and runs out of the closet. Leaving me alone.
I stay in the closet for the next period. Maybe he'll come back..? No. He doesn't. Just like that, the moment is gone. I end up moving myself to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror.
"I like him" I whisper to myself "I am bisexual" I whisper once more, taking a deep breath "and that's okay" I smile, it's like I took that weight off my chest, at least to myself.
I pull my phone out and text Craig, deciding to share with him first, obviously.
[Stan: Hey! I'm bi]
[Craig: Good job]
I can't help but laugh, living in that small moment of joy before the situation comes crashing down on me. I'm gonna hurt these people. It's not gonna go over well that I left Red for a man. I'll never hear the end of it, and Tweek is boarderline insane, who knows what they'd plan to do to sabatoge us. I consider him to be the only other person in this town with common sense.

It's the night of the dance. I haven't seen Craig since that moment in the closet. He didn't show up, he didn't hang out with me and red for the rest of the day, though he was arguing with Tweek, so that makes sense.
They seem to have gotten their shit together in time for the dance, because Tweek is chipper as ever, and Craig is... well.. he's stunning. As stupid as the outfits we have to wear are, he's absolutely stunning.
I walk over to him and nudge his shoulder "Hey, handsome" I wink, though I say it quietly enough that Tweek can't hear me. He thinks I made a comment about him and Tweek. He chuckles, seemingly uncomfortably "I brought this for you" I slide an extra flask into his shirt pocket, it's hidden perfectly.
"I thought you didn't do this anymore?" He whispers
"I'm still a high schooler" I stick my tongue out at him and show him my own "already emptied two before this and I feel ready" I do a single jump
"Well let's get going!" Tweek exclaims
Red and I drive together, as well as Tweek and Craig. We park beside each other, Red drove me, and Craig drove Tweek. For whatever reason she insisted on driving.
"Do you like it?" She gestures to her car "I heard you like older models"
   "Yeah it's neat" I smile at her and inspect it a little bit
   "So tonight... I don't expect..." she trails off "I really appreciate you for going with me, I'm sure you had a million better options" she laughs nervously, asking for reassurance
    "You flatter me" I laugh "You're the only person that asked me, apparently me being loyal to Wendy for years left me... undesirable"
    "What happened between you two?"
    "Oh it was me, like always, I could change in a million different ways and none of them would be the man she wanted."
    "Well she's missing out" she winks at me
    "Or you're screwed" I shrug, she laughs
    "Oh please, I watched you grow up" she puts her hand on my leg for a brief moment before it goes back to the wheel "I saw you as a drunk ten year old, I saw you get OSS for being stoned, and I heard about you and Clyde doing mushrooms together at football practice! I know about you getting head to make Wendy jealous, but it only drove her away from you, I know you make bad choices, we all make bad choices, we're teenagers, we're supposed to have fun" she's rambling, she seems to remember a lot about me specifically. I wonder if all the girls know that much, it wouldn't be hard I guess, in such a small town, and for a while, me, Cartman, Kyle, and Kenny were the most interesting people in town.
    She pulls into the school and finds a parking spot. She looks at me once we stop, noting how I haven't replied. I hadn't noticed.
    "I'm sorry... if I come off strong" she clears her throat "I've spent a lot of time thinking about you" she admits, a blush creeping up on her face.
    "Well, let's make this dance worth it" I clear my throat. It's just once dance.
    We get out and wait for Tweek and Craig, who had to park far away from us. We all walk in together. I pay for the two of us, Craig pays for himself and Tweek himself. What a gentleman.
   I keep catching him sneaking glances at me. I wonder if he still wants me to leave with him. Maybe I made him uncomfortable, maybe I misread his signals in the closet earlier, but his eyes say otherwise. His eyes say he's in a different state of mind when he locks eyes with me.
    "Stan, let's go get our dates a drink, shall we?" Craig asks once we make it over by concessions, outside the gym, where we can hear the music bumping, and I can sense the grind circle forming.
    "Sure, would you like a drink, Red?"
    "A coke for me"
    "Sounds good"
   We walk over to concessions together, he's eyeing me up and down as we get in the sizable line.
   "Handsome huh?" He asks
   "You just look good tonight"
   "This outfit is so stupid" he rolls his eyes
   "Y'know I thought it was! But you make it look so good" I reach down and pinch his ass, bold, I know, and it makes him jump unexpectedly and look around.
   "You need to be careful" he chuckles out
   "Yeah but you didn't say stop" I look around before doing it again, causing the same reaction
   "Stanley" he stops himself before leaning in "You don't want Tweek as your enemy, trust me" I clear my throat, note taken.
    "Sorry" is all I can muster in response
    "No no don't be" he clears his throat "I just mean..." he rubs his neck, and it's our turn, he orders the drinks through stutters and I order my own, taking them back to our dates.
   Does he want to escape with me? I don't have my car, would he take me in his? Does he want me? I shake my head, I should focus on my date, if he's gonna be so confusing.
    So I do, we head in together and dance for a bit, she ends up disappearing with her friends eventually, and I conclude the date aspect of the night over. An hour passes before I get up to go outside, I have a joint in my pocket begging to be lit. I scan the gym and see Red with Bebe, Tweek, and Annie, Cartman is with Kyle and Kenny, but Kenny seems distracted by Bebe's tits from twenty feet away. Clyde and Wendy are making out, it's crazy how much I'm not bothered by that, probably because the vice principal is on her way over to stop it.
   I'm so caught in looking around that it terrifies me when I'm grabbed and pulled behind the bleachers on my way out. I almost scream but manage to contain it, taking deep breaths once I'm let go and have contained myself.
    "Going somewhere?" Craig asks
    "What's with you?" I ask as I cross my arms "I've been as straightforward as I can be and you're giving me the most mixed signals I've ever seen in my life."
    He huffs and rubs his forehead "Stan... I can explain, but not here, let's go on that drive" he looks down and begins walking out, I follow shortly after, but long enough for it to not look like we're together. He seems to be bothered by that when I exit the gym.
    "The fuck took you so long?"
   I immediately feel like an idiot "Nothing, let's go"
   He takes me out to his car, and we drive in silence for a few minutes, before I hear him take a deep breath.
    "Stan, I like you" he admits, looking out the window "I'm just trapped, like I said Tweek's not a good enemy to have" he clears his throat "My first boyfriend, Thomas, he did some nasty things to him, just because I dated him"
   "So if you leave Tweek?" I ask
   "He could do whatever he wanted. Hes so good at provoking me, it's because hes on meth... not right in the head"
    "Hes on meth?!" I say a bit too loud
    "Yeah... he doesn't like people to know, his family's a bit weird like that... seemingly loving towards one another though" he shrugs "I've tried to leave, I think even life without him would improve my shitty situation, but I'm not afraid of him, not while I'm with him, but that last break we took... man... tell me why I found him at my house at four in the morning going through my phone"
    "He can just come in whenever?"
    "No, he just does, uninvited, whenever he wants. Usually when he's horny."
     "Ew you fuck him?"
     "No duh" he rolls his eyes "grow up"
     "You ever cheat on him?"
     "No but he's cheated on me"
     "No way, with who?"
     "Some girl"
     "Some girl?!"
     "Yeah I was shocked too. He still claims he's fully gay though, I doubt he even remembers doing it" he rolls his eyes and pulls into a parking spot beside the lake
     "Life doesn't always have to be so shitty"
     "Y'know I recently learned that." He looks at me and leans over a bit "because of you" our eyes lock, and in that moment I can't bear it any longer.
     It's just him and I in that moment. Surely it wouldn't hurt, he'd never know. I lean in and cup his face, pulling him in and locking my lips with his. It takes a moment, but he returns it.