It's a Cold World Without You

It's a Cold World Without You 12

Hailey and Ryan had made it to school minutes before the late bell rang that morning, and laughed all the way to their respective classes. Neddless to say, their teachers weren't entirely pleased with their disruptive entrences, but they made it there on time. Sort of.

By lunch time, Hailey didn't feel like going down to the cafeteria. People would be there. People who she'd have to smile at, say words to. She'd have to pretend, and right now she just wasn't up for any of it. So, she went to the computer lab and searched YouTube.com for her favorite music videos.

Last period hadn't come soon enough in Hailey's humble opinion. Halfway through a boring lecture about cell structure (something Hailey couldn't care less about), her phone started to vibrate in her pocket. She pulled it steathily, so as the teacher wouldn't see, and saw the words 'Text Message: Ryan' roll across the screen. It turns out that he wanted to hang out with her after school, or as he put it "after this torture session lets out". Hailey almost laughed out loud, but it stopped it as she remembered she was sitting in a full classroom. She replied that she'd meet him out by his car. 

Now that Hailey had something to look forward to and had to wait for this class to be over, time seemed to grag even slower. Each minute felt like five. Ryan is right, Hailey decided, this is torture. With only five minutes left, Hailey dropped her head down on her desk.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the final bell rang and signaled the end of the school day. Hailey was the first one out of the classroom, even thought she'd been sitting in the back of the class.

She didn't even stop at her locker before heading out to the student parking lot and to Ryan's car. She was surprised when she saw him leaning on the car, hands in his pockets and eyes closed, waiting for her. "Ryan!" she called out as she approached, a smile gracing her face.

He looked up and smiled, too, visibly relaxing as she drew closer. "Hailey," he said, "Hey."

"My place?" she offered. "We stayed at yours yesterday.

Ryan shrugged, not really caring where they went. "Sure."

In the car, about five minutes into the drive, Ryan brought up what had been on his mind most of the day. "Whenever we're not together, does it all come back to you? The pain and all that?" he struggled to find the right words to convey his thoughts, but he came up short. Fortunately, Hailey understood what he was trying to say. Away from Ryan, Hailey could feel the weight of Kyle's absence settle upon her shoulders once again. The grief, guilt, lonliness, it all came over her once again. She just didn't know that Ryan felt it, too. Nor did she realize that he was only able to shake it when he was around her, just like when she was near him.

Hailey kind of gaped at Ryan's revelation, trying to gather her wits about her to respond. Ryan took this as he didn't understand his question, and he didn't blame her as he barely understood himself these days.

"What I mean is--" he started again, but Hailey cut him off.

"No, no, no. I know what you mean. I just didn't know that you noticed it, too."

"So it does happen to you, too," Ryan said slowly.

Hailey nodded mutely, and that was the end of the conversation for the remainder of their journey. Both became lost in their own thoughts, trying to figure out why all the negative feelings that lingered around them since Kyle's passing were only numbed by each other's prescence.

By the time they reached Hailey's house, both Ryan and Hailey were fed up with thinking. Hailey had an idea as how to make it stop, at least temporarily.

She led Ryan up to her bedroom, not bothering to check who else was home. She assumed her mother was, but didn't care much where her aunt was.

She waved to her bed, a gesture that meant for Ryan to take a seat. He complied as she locked her door and made her way to her dresser. After a few moments of searching, she came up with what she'd been looking for. A baggie of weed.

Ryan eyed the drugs, then her, and said, "Good idea, Hales."

She smiled and said, "I know. I can't believe I haven't gotten high since Kyle. We always used to do it together though, so I guess it makes sense that I haven't thought of it."

"I haven't done it, either, so let's get started."

Hailey carefully took a joint out of the bag and held it out for Ryan to take and light with the lighter he produced from his pocket. After taking a long drag, Ryan handed it back to Hailey, holding his breath and relaxing completly for the first time since his best friend died. Hailey followed his example, and they both laid back on her bed, passing a lit joint between them.