Teardrops On Pages And Cuddles In The Cold

Chapter 3

Tubbo lead his husband to their bedroom, glancing back every few seconds to make sure he was still there. Not just that his body was there, following behind him, but also that his mind was. He checked that his eyes were still their usual vivid green and red, rather than the dull glowing purple they became when he was extremely emotional and went into an enderwalk; especially since he was being so quiet right now. Hesitantly, Tubbo reached behind him and gently grabbed his hand, knowing that physical touch was usually helpful in calming down his husband, while also shaking his head slightly so his bangs would cover his eyes, that way Ranboo wouldn't be fearful of eye contact, and could hopefully feel more comfortable. Almost immediately, Ranboo's hand relaxed in his own, and Tubbo could feel his tail come up and hesitantly wrap around his waist.

He's still okay. He's still your Ranboo. Even if he has scars, even if he almost did... that... he's still here now. He's still your Ranboo. And besides, that journal said it was from middle school- which he could honestly tell from his shit english at the time- so, he could have gotten over it completely by now. They were twenty, Ranboo had written that journal when he was, what? Thirteen? It'd be fine. He'd just ask Ranboo about it and he'd say he got over it. Yeah. So what if his ender particles spoke to him? He knew that. He had known that since the first week of them dating, even if Ranboo hadn't explicitly said it, Ranboo could see the signs. It's not like his honeybees didn't do the same.

Except Tubbo had told Ranboo about his honeybees. So why hadn't Ranboo told Tubbo about his Ender Particles? Did he not trust him?

That thought hurt. But it wasn't true. Ranboo trusted Tubbo with his life. He had said so himself.

But he didn't trust him with his journals. Which were basically his life.

No, that's just because... because... because he was scared, yeah. Because he um- he wasn't sure how to deal with all of it. He wasn't ready. Ranboo had said himself he didn't tell anyone, even his ender parents before he left them for The Overworld, anything that was going on in his head. What he had already told Tubbo was precious. A secret Ranboo expected Tubbo to keep as if his life depended on it. And keep it he did. He hadn't told a single soul, not even Tommy. Which was incredibly hard considering they told each other basically everything.

Yet, if Tubbo had kept Ranboo's thoughts of unsureness in his orientations, why wasn't he trusted with this? With things that were actually dangerous?

If everything in those journals were true- which it could not be, it could just been a thirteen year old Ranboo over-exaggerating shit, but Tubbo highly doubts that- then Tubbo could have lost his husband a long time ago. Hell, he could have never found him to begin with.

And that realization, that fact alone, the thought that if it weren't for his at the time girlfriend, Aimsey, {Author's note: I know people don't like these two being shipped, but I've written an AU explaining my hc for it on Wattpad and AO3. Just trust me on this one, it's good. Check it out before hating please!} Ranboo might not even be here right now. That was enough to bring Tubbo to tears. But he had to be strong for Ranboo right now. This was going tobe hard for both of them. But according to the book, even after Aimsey found him on that roof in The End, he still refused to tell her anything. It was going to be hard work to convince Ranboo to tell him the truth, to be honest and let out what he'd kept bottled inside for years.

But Tubbo would do anything for his husband.

So work he shall.