Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle One-Shots

Gender Envy

TWs: transphobia
Show: 2012 TMNT, fourth season before Splinter died, but after Shinigami arrived with no real concrete sense of TMNT's time
Ship(s): implied Jonatello 
Note: 
Word Count: 3148 words

Leo had his role in his life. He was the leader of his brothers, the perfect son for Splinter, and a little dorky at times. He liked his life; he liked who he was. Leo really did. There wasn't anything he needed to question about himself. Leo knew exactly who he was, and that was that. Nothing more. Leo didn't really think to question why he felt wrong all of the time, he figured that that was a normal part of life. Especially for a mutant like himself.

Well, that was until Karai was revealed to be their sister.

Logically, Leo knew his feelings for Karai should've changed. It was wrong to still have such strong, romantic feelings for his sister. Sure, they weren't related in blood, but Splinter was her biological father and his adoptive father. There shouldn't be feelings for her, even with that. He tried to use that there was no blood in their veins that came from the same person as a rationalization in his head. 

He knew the others knew that he had feelings for her still. Leo really was trying to squash them. He really, truly was. Leo sometimes would mentally scold himself after their interactions, chastise how she made him flustered and like he was everything. He's sat through many lectures from Donnie and occasionally Raph or Splinter about how he shouldn't be in love with his sister. Leo didn't want to feel the way he did for her. 

And yet, he couldn't make the feelings go away. Leo started to question himself. He questioned if he was a good person. Good people don't experience any kind of incest, right? Good people didn't spend nights thinking about how attractive their sister was, right? Good people didn't try to justify their actions, right?

Leo sat on the ground in his room, staring at his hands. He hated how he felt for his sister. He hated himself over it. He needed to figure out why he felt this way. He's spoken to April about it, but she gave him a lecture too. And there was no way he was talking to Casey about this. Casey... didn't have the best understanding of things. Casey would just give him another lecture. Leo couldn't talk to Mikey about it, Mikey would stay on topic for a few minutes before accidentally changing the subject. There was no way he would talk to Karai about it. He didn't want to lose the relationship they have.

A heavy sigh left his lips. He needed to talk to someone about this, get someone to help him work through these feelings without telling him why it's wrong or that he shouldn't feel this way. Leo already knew those things. He just needed to talk to someone that would listen and help. But he didn't know who to turn to.

He got up after several silent minutes and left his room. Leo decided he needed to get out of the sewers and get some fresh air. To clear his mind.

While out, Leo stopped and watched a group of young girls that were hanging out in the park. He didn't know why. He wanted to go down and join them, hear their gossip and paint his nails with them. Leo wanted to befriend them; he wanted more feminine friends. 

Leo was glad he was shrouded in the shadows. If they knew someone was watching them, especially someone like him, they would freak out and call him names before running away. It wouldn't be the first time he's stopped to watch a group of girls while on a solo patrol. Leo would always feel a strong sense of longing, but he always told himself that it was a longing for their romance. 

Apparently, however, Leo wasn't as well hidden as he had originally thought he was. A new girl passed by him, he sneezed, and she stopped. She turned around. Leo stood frozen as they made eye contact. The woman stood there for a minute or two, clearly thinking, before she walked over and offered out her hand.