The Hook Factor | Review Shop

⟶ Oblivion, A Timeless Void by Aster_Rae27

THE OPENING LINE:

"Carmine skies, the tell of lost souls."

⟶ This may be a short opening line but boy is it impactful! It sets the mood from the get-go and definitely hooked me in!

⟶ The rest of the paragraph after this line also compliments it quite well while still not giving too much away, just really hammering home that something bad has/is happening.

THE FADE TO BLACK:

⟶ I think it's really interesting the way you opened this with a short but impactful first few paragraphs which tell us so much but still somehow nothing at all. I was hoping I'd understand more about the opening scene by the end of the prologue but I won't lie, it did loose me a little but more on that later.

⟶ Having this short section fade to black to bring in another scene, which then leads onto another scene after that as well, is a cool way to include these little snippets while weaving them all together.

⟶ Sometimes people do this and it can feel really sudden and jarring but you managed to maintain a really nice flow throughout which really helped it feel like we were moving through each scene, rather than just cutting off and jumping onto the next.

TWO STARS AND A WISH:

⭐ Your descriptions are really nice and you use some unique adjectives!

⭐ I really like the way you ended your prologue! It brings in a great hook and ends the chapter on a bit of a cliff hanger, making the reading want to know more!

💭 I did find it a little difficult to follow what was happening at the beginning. I understand that the girl is sad and there are some implications of death and hell but I'm not really sure what is going on? Just that she is in pain and there's fire but there isn't really any indication as of why its happening, what is really happening, or why/how she came to be there.

OVERALL:

⟶ Overall, I really like this prologue! It has some really interesting imagery and although it includes a few different scenes, so to speak, it doesn't feel too much like it's jumping around as everything is woven quite nicely together with a good pace and flow.

⟶ The ending is gripping and would definitely intrigue me as a reader, but I still felt a little confused at the end. It's clear something supernatural is happening and the last two scenes make complete sense but the first one, as nicely (and chillingly) described as it is, I didn't really take much away from it other than "this is our main character, she's in pain, her life is awful", which is also established pretty well in the next two scenes anyway.

⟶ Minus that one criticism, I'd definitely say this prologue is an interesting and engaging opening that gets the reader thinking and delivers plenty of questions they'll want answers to right off the bat. 

⟶ You also do a great job of setting the tone and overall mood of the story, while also making it clear from the beginning that this is a fantasy story.

Thank you Aster_Rae27 for trusting me with this review, happy writing!