Let's Get Crazy | Male Reader X Lydia Deetz

Juice 4

[ That night In Charles' room, he was on the phone.]

Charles: (on the phone) Maxie, haven't I always made you money? That's the only real question.

Maxie: (on the phone) Nobody made me money like you. You were a demon until your nerves went. It's just that... Winter River, Connecticut is, if you'll forgive me, nowhere. Why would I want to invest that kind of money in an old building way the hell up there?

Charles: (on the phone) It's not a building. That's the beauty. These people don't know the value of their property. I can buy the whole town.

Maxie: (on the phone) Then we own a whole town in the middle of nowhere.

Charles: (on the phone) Come and see. And bring Sarah.

Maxie: (on the phone) All right, Charles. It's just that I'm kind of busy here.

Charles: (on the phone) Just a minute.

Maxie: (on the phone) Listen. Enough of this talk about visiting, okay? I gotta go. You take it easy up there, big fellow. Goodbye.

Charles: (on the phone) Maxie, wait, wait. (Maxie hangs up)

Maxie: Putz.

[Charles hears moaning sounds outside his door. He opened the door and saw someone in a bedsheet.]

Charles: Lydia, is Connecticut so boring? I had Maxie Dean on the phone. Dad's found a way of making money while I relax, so would you scram? Your mother will kill you when she sees you cut holes in her $300 sheets.

Barbara: This is so corny. Is this what we've been reduced to? Sheets?

Adam: Think of them as death shrouds. And the moaning is important. Really moan!

[They went into Delia's room and tried to scare her, but they couldn't. Lydia did hear the moaning.]

Lydia: God, how can he stand that woman? Cut it out! I'm a child, for God's sakes.

Barbara: I feel so stupid.

Adam: It's not stupid. We're ghosts! Do you want to spend the next 125 years having breakfast with this woman? Moan louder.

[They moan again, but it didn't work.]

Adam: Oh, God.

[They left the room, but...]

Lydia: (takes pictures of them) Sick. Sexual perversion. Do that weird sexual stuff in your own bedroom.

[She checks the photos and it shows the bedsheets without the feet.]

Lydia: Ah, no feet. Are you the guys hiding in the attic?

Adam: We're ghosts!

Lydia: What do you look like under there?

Adam: Aren't you scared?

Lydia: I'm not scared. Are you gross under there? Are you Night of the Living Dead under there? Like all bloody veins and pus?

Adam: Night of the what?

Lydia: Living Dead. It's a movie.

Barbara: (takes off the sheet) If I had seen a ghost at your age, I would have been scared out of my wits.

Lydia: You're not gross. Why are you wearing sheets?

Barbara: We're practicing.

Adam: You can see us without the sheets?

Lydia: Of course we can see you.

Adam: How can you see us and nobody else can?

Lydia: I read through that Handbook for the Recently Deceased. It says, 'Live people ignore the strange and unusual.' I myself am strange and unusual.