The Queen's Pleasure

The captive

A couple of days had passed and Maya was feeling better now. The queen had stopped by her room twice every day to check on her, to see if she needed anything. And while they didn't speak of repentance and their mistakes yet, they knew it would always be the elephant in the room, they would address it someday when it demanded to be acknowledged by them.

Now, she was here in Maya's room to say goodnight to her, but a conversation had started and Carina was in no hurry to say goodnight yet.

"Your cousin," Maya said, "are you two close?" Maya asked.

"Yes, very. Though she can be a handful sometimes," Carina chuckled.

Maya smiled and Carina smiled softly back, glad that Maya was slowly coming back to her health and to herself, around Carina.

"When we were kids she was always very jealous of me," Carina explained, "because I would become queen someday and she would always be just 'the cousin'."

"But I envy her now because she gets to be 'the cousin' who gets to do what she wants, live the way she likes and still have all the money and privileges in the world because she's in a royal family, but without the weight of the responsibility that I carry," Carina says, a hint of sadness there that she tried very hard not to sound too repentant of.

"But you are a wonderful queen, your majesty," Maya says.

Carina was now getting used to Maya calling her that. It didn't mean that it didn't sting every single time.

Carina scoffed "Wonderful," she repeated.

Maya reached out her hand and placed it on Carina's. "You are human, you are compassionate, you are just and you are humble," she said.

"But I am also cruel," she said.

"Your words and actions were driven by something else," Maya said, knowing what Carina was implying.

'Love,' Carina thought.

'Love' Maya thought.

How could love make her do the things she did Carina thought to herself. How could you hold love responsible for something so distasteful. But she knew, that if she didn't care that much for Maya or didn't... love... her that much...she probably wouldn't have been that jealous or that stirred up about Keisha, she wouldn't have taken Maya's ask to heart, she wouldn't care much, she wouldn't have gone to Maya's room, willing to forget that she was queen and get down on her knees before Maya, to worship her in a manner Maya would love. If she wasn't in love with her, she wouldn't have hurt her so badly. But that had to be accounted to love. And yet, it was so wrong.

"It is not who you are though," Maya said, reassuringly, bringing her out of her spiralling. "The universe trusts you to be a just and fair queen, something that maybe your cousin wasn't made for, it's your calling," Maya said.

"How could you know that?" Carina said.

"I know," Maya said, taking Carina's hand in hers and softly letting her thumb swipe against the back of her hand. Carina allowed it. She didn't deserve it. But Maya was saying something, in these little gestures.

A knock on the door alerted them and Carina said, "Come in."

In walked Jo.

"Your majesty, Her ladyship, Duchess Gabriella is waiting for you in your room for dinner," Jo said, "she says she doesn't like to eat too late because then she can't sleep too well.'

Carina rolled her eyes. Comfortable doing that in front of Maya and Jo. "I will be right there," Carina said.

As Jo left, Carina realised now that her hand was no longer in Maya's. Their hands had probably separated when Jo knocked.