Reverie

~ mickey's ticking ~

12:13 am

I wish I knew myself better. On days when every breath feels like a chore, I wish I knew how to transport myself to an open field, covered with pretty flowers, and the reason to live. I wish I knew how to identify five things I can see, four things I can touch, three things I can hear, two things I can smell, and one thing I can taste. On days, like these, when sleep feels like an escape, I wish I knew how to wake up and make my favourite breakfast...

01:37 am

In the worst moments, she feels like the home I have, the one I wished I was never born into. The world doesn't see her chipped corners and eroding edges. The world sees a perfect home, and calls me privileged when I complain. The world is a guest, and guests are not supposed to see the steel plates and the broken glass. Only I know the blood stains that taints the brand new cutlery. Only I can hear the screams echoing off their forced laughter. She is the one who taught me how to wear a facade but is now pissed seeing I became better than her...

02:45 am

I do not sleep because I'm afraid of dreams. Not nightmares, they are a reality, but dreams, because they are hopeful and I've had enough of the heartbreak. It wasn't always like this, bleak and distant. But my dreams lay forgotten now,  suffocating under the pillow, the ink smudged with dejection.

I do not sleep because I'm afraid I would never wanna wake up again and the happiness is too much for me to handle...

05:30 am

I'm terrified of what lays ahead. I'm terrified that I'll never be able to cover this distance. It's starting all over again but my brain never learnt how to do it, even after all this time. I don't know, I don't know, I don't-

08:00 am

Dragging my feet on the cold tiles, it's time to put on the mask and live. Live like I do not want tear myself apart the next second and watch as the blood seeps out with glee. Live like I am comfortable with the ants crawling up my skin all the time. Live like I want to live, like I have hope...

-Ish, it's time to wake up. Rise and shine honey :)

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Hello, gorgeous people 🧡

This is my entry for #Shortys2024 ✨
I just hope y'all will read it, and love it. Do let me know what you think if you read it. Thank youuu 🤍