𝐃𝐎𝐊𝐉𝐀'𝐒 𝐁𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐈𝐌𝐏 ¦| Oяv х м.Яєαɒєя |¦

12🍂 - Just Two Weirdos Weirding (1)

"........,"

[Your Name] and the blondie were lounging side by side like they weren't smack dab in the middle of an apocalypse.

The apocalypse? Overrated.

The chaos of the world crumbling around them? Nah, that was someone else's problem.

They had better things to do - like chill around like it was a lazy Sunday afternoon.

Jisoo and Gilyoung were totally engrossed in their new hobby nearby: observing a random bug that was just trying to live its best 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘵 life and mind its FREAKING business on the ground.

Meanwhile, Yoo Sangah and Lee Hyunsung were off somewhere else, probably trying to be responsible adults or something.

"Sooo..." [Your Name] turned to the blondie, putting on the most innocent face possible, batting his eyelashes at him. "When did you jerk off, my guy? I mean, who jerks off while the world is probably ending?"

The blondie didn't even bat an eye.

"Not my fault it all happened while I was at it," He replied, his thick accent giving his words that lazy, seductive drawl. "I was sexually frustrated and equally pissed off about everything, you know? And I was gonna buy another limousine soon anyway, so, I just beat my meat... And welp, that's when it happened. The end of the world. Oopsie?"

[Your Name] blinked, completely unphased by the entire story - except for one detail.

A limousine? That got his attention.

"A limousine? Damn, fancy, man. How rich are you?"

The blondie smirked, leaning back like he was on a beach somewhere instead of the middle of Armageddon. "It's probably still up there, mate. If it didn't get smashed to pieces, that is."

He then shook his head with a laugh, "But dude, you say the world's ending, yet you're still worried about a limo. Classic."

[Your Name] burst out laughing, shaking his head. "Man, it's our fucked up priorities, huh?"

The blondie joined in, his accent still thick enough to turn every word into a lazy purr. "What can I say? When you're rich and horny, things just happen. You know, sometimes a man's just gotta do what a man's gotta do... even if it's the end of the world."

They both chuckled at the absurdity of it all, before suddenly, in perfect sync, they asked each other, "What's your name?"

[Your Name] grinned, leaning forward slightly. "[Your Full Name], but you can just call me [Your Name]... or whatever floats your boat, really."

The blondie, with a flourish that was almost comically grandiose, said, "Yevgeny Vissarionovich Bogdanov."

[Your Name] blinked again, processing that mouthful of a name. "Damn, that's one long-ass name, my guy. Too long, too hard."

Yevgeny shot him a playful glare, muttering, "Mat' tvoyu, che ty ozhidal? Ya russkiy." (Motherfuker, what'd you expect? I'm Russian.)

[Your Name] held up his hands, laughing. "Chill, Mr. Russian! No need to go full KGB on me."

Yevgeny grinned, his expression softening. "Just call me Zhenya. Easier on your non-Russian tongue, da?"

[Your Name] smirked, "Zhenya it is. Just promise me we'll survive this apocalypse together without you jerking off again anytime soon."

Zhenya chuckled, "No promises, zayka. No promises."

[Your Name] blinked. "Zayka? The heck does that mean?"